To someone I know
 

tell me what you mean to me
say the words so far
single out your enemies
leave me an eternal scar
war is nearly over
tho love is still in regin
joy confesses sober
sadness protests in pain

Tell me what i mean to you
read it in my eyes
join a world of hostility
flash my battle cries
open wounds still healing
find your heart intact
leave my life still bleeding
feeding into this act

Explain to them what you told me
you loved me forever, "it will last"
now i am a mantel, you a porcelan cast
all i wanted was sentiment
a word or two of lies
roses on my bruises
holy water on my eyes

Wash away your perfection
seal away the truth
open up a feeling
that means nothing to you
close your hands of metal
break your heart of glass
walk the road away from here
leave me to die in the past.

Damn, that was awesome. I GIVE You 9/10, juss caz i don't really thinkanhing is perfect. but that poem was deep. vocab was perfect, and the mood really set the tone of the poem!!! Tite work!!!

yo thats some deep shit!! i felt it all the way....sick shit!!

lookin for some feedback
THE MAN WHO WASNT THERE
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=77426

AT THE END OF MY ROPE
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=77246

I felt like I could relate to this poem, this was some deep shit. Feeling like you can't trust peeps and that at the end of the day they leave you hurt. This was a heartfelt piece, you threw a lot of emotions in and that's the way it's gotta be.
Keep droppin and keep ya chin up, even though you feel like peeps are letting ya down.

Peace

This was a quite atmospheric piece for sure. Constructing it such a loosely compressed and flowing way, that the essence came pouring out with the more hard hitting emotions and what not.

Imagery was the key to all this happening. You used it well. Varying from surreal, to sometimes real. You bled your emotions well. A profound piece which doesn't lose itself on thought.

....resp...

deep deep deep shit, liked it, flowed near perfect so i would give u a nine as well, peep my shit as well as hit ur head on a cloud, naomean?...

i can't think of anyone who couldn't in some way or form connect with this.............blessed with simplicty this poem has it all a smooth flow and a wonderful meaning...............deep and insightful..............without being bleak and listless..........true sign of a poet is the ability to turn felt emotion into words..............you have that gift.................excellent drop and i agree with the 9/10...............1

i agree wit erybody else,keep spittin.peace

Thnx everyone for replying. Writin this shit sometimes gets old but seein that everyone reads it means alot to me, for real. thanks yll.