4:31 am (living in death)
 

it's now 4:31 but I just can't seem to get my ass-to-the-bed...
with all the cats-that-have-bled...
the only thing I can think about's a gat-to-my-head...
please no don't die is the last-thing-I-said...
no longer am I packin-some-lead and stashin'-my bread...
I can't open my eyez my time'z no longer elapsing...I'm dead...

shit-is-absurd when ya vision-is-blurred my spit-has-been-cursed
a bottomless pit-has-emerged ...
as my "skin dissentigratez" till it starts to "get-on-my-nervez"...

I ain't a murderer... but please don't tempt-me-to-try...
it's in-me-to-die...without remembering-why...
if my life'z filled with pain then why do I feel empty inside...

dismembering-thoughts the trinity'z-sought...
I can't seem to buy shit but a disfiguring-corpse...
with all the treasurez my memories-bought...
remembering-not to do what my ancesstoral entitiez-taught...
like a disease this shit-will-be-caught...
I'm figuring that by the time you hear this as you listen-I-rot...

I swore my greatest protection would be weaponz-of-flesh...
strapped a vest-on-my-chest I thought I was the best-of-the-best
but I figured wrong instead-I'm-depressed...
cause the only way I could learn my greatest life lesson-was death...

Not a bad piece for that late at night, flow was a little shaky to start with but you picked it up as you went on, multi's were consistant with the verse, could of used more internals in my opinion, i got the wordplay in this, you didnt need to use the quotation marks, good vocabulary, original topic, all in all not a bad piece, props.

Reply to my "Time Travellin`" Piece!

^^^thanks for the feed...it flowed at 1st but I just made it look like that so the linez would be more even...

oh yeah...already peeped ya piece...

yeah i agree, i'm a great fan of mulites and i think they make a verse tight, this verse had good flow and like above said the multies were consistent all the way through which i liked, TIGHT VERSE dawg, nice

thank ya kindly COM...

uppin'....

not bad for a late night freestyle.

f my life'z filled with pain then why do I feel empty inside...
^^i liked that line alot


as my "skin dissentigratez" till it starts to "get-on-my-nervez"...
^^really like that one too


not a bad free, u got some skills dawg, keep this shit flowin

^^^thank ya Pax...

still uppin'...

yup...