Makin time Pass By
 

IT ONLY TOOK ME 2 MINUETS TO WRITE THIS AND IT AINT EVEN ILL/BUT DOG U TOOK TO WRITE 3 BARS WHAT IT TOOKS TO DO THE TITANIC FILM/BULLETS ON CHEST PEACE FOR THE REST NOW HOW DOES IT FEEL/NIGGAZ SAY 2 IS BETTA THAN ONE[CHILL]/2 SHOTS AINT BETTA THAN ONE CUZ A NIGGA CAN GET KILL/ [DOG U WACK] NIGGA IM JUSS TRYIN TO BE REEL/FUCK THIS UP,DONT MAKE ME DISSAPEAR U LIKE DAVID BLAINE/NIGGA I CAN HURT B4 U SAY ITS BOUT TO RAIN/MY SHIT IS REAL LIKE 3 STABS ON HEART PAIN/2HOT4V THEY ACT LIKE THEY DONT SEE ME/NIGGA ASK GOD FOR A BILLY[$$$],GOD DIDNT ANSWER/ASK ME I GAVE EM 2 BUCKS NOW HE GOTTA BELIVE ME/NOT THA IM POWEFUL BUT IM JUSS REALISTIC/I KNOW SHIT AINT HARD BUT ITS RED LIKE HEART NOW NIGGAZ CALL ME BALISTIC/


I DONT WANT NO HATERZ POST JUSS TELL ME WHAT I NEED TO CHANGE IIGHT ~1~ MOTHAFUCKAZ

now now, im juss a ROOKIE so DOG u juss tell me what to change cuz its like my 2nd time freestylin I THINK I CAN LEARN

it was aiight for ya 2nd freestyle,u need to work onm multis and wordplay but other than that tha only thing that can elevate u is practice,keep spittin kid.~1~

iight,ThanX 4 keepin it REAL!! ~1~

kE3p 1t c0m1ng n1gaAz lol

LOL no one else wanna tell me what i can change!!!! yall niggaz is pu$$y lol

take off the caps

iight ima do it for neXx tIme, ThanX

this was not that good honestly...i didnt like it at all...dont know where u were trying to do with this....i understand its a freestyle and shit but it needs lots of work...multies and such and such...vocab ..and some flow....dont freestyle write real disses we can go ooooo and ahhh pzzzz

iight iight,i like niggaz that keep it real

this was an ok piece........good job on 2nd free.......keep practicing on meta's and such, u'll improve, check out my open mic...........
"Disgusted By Life"
Late

see, i can't comment as it bein a second free cause i was always good, ha ha, but seriously, u had wordplay and wat not but it was unorganized, thus, i couldn't comment on tha flow except that it seemed to stop at times, also don't make tha flow BASIC, it's jus borin, in otha words, hide ur meanings of ur shit u tryin to say, jus keep writin frees or spittin frees in tha shower, it's wat i do, then u'll start to elevate...