just wanted to post somethin
 

a yo look

i wanted to make this post
but i have no reason to boast
casue i'm not the best at what i do
sometimes i rhyme and don't have a clue
you don't want me to mess wit you
cause i'll leave ya in the street black and blue
i'll leave ya layin like i did wit da rest
make sure ya wear a vest and cover your chest
cause when cop killers fly you gonna die
and after you die your whole family gonna cry
but not me i'll laugh at em cause they all weak
after i punish them i'll go get tweaked
if any ya got beef ya really make me sick
heres a website to visit www. suck my dick
i don't care no more i'll use ya to mop the floor
then after i'm done i'll fuck your girl cause shes a whore

don't anyone take this shit to heart i just need to get some rhymes out so i can get suggestions on what to do to get better at this shit
uppin for feedback

real basic rhyme scheme nothing bad....................or really good for that matter.............i'd up your vocabulary and try and use some multi's or inter-bar rhyming to stretch your lines a little.........average drop just watch and elevate you'll be fine.......1

SAME P AS ME, BaSic, and i dunno lot bout this, no multis but it was iight

good drop dawg
we gotta do another collab true
gimmie a holla

uppin for true

uppin

that was weak. take your time and put some thought into what you write. if your going to brag about your self at least drop some lyrics that back it up. up you vocab your rhyming like it was 1983.

if i was u i would work on the vocab multies metas wordplay and rhyme scheme. dont use n everyday word to rhyme with use complex variables to make a better verse n the flow was kinda off but its prolly the way i rap thas how i read it so its an OK drop but needs more work ~1~