Life Science with Mr. Keys Pt. 1
 

~Keys~
Knowledge is free, my bullets got college degrees,
Wit hollowtip scolarships but no knowledge of Keys,
Unless you need some science or histry,(History)
I got the angles and vortexes of how ya bullets missed me,
Never reppin the system, cannibalism and excercism,
Givin examples of how a black man also has wisdom,
How could you say we don't, but look at the country,
No matter what, the want somethin from me,
Usin me to meet their ends then they dump me,
Takin lives and our pride, when will we rise up,
My prediction is when the education in city schools size up,
To meet up with the whites but we already came and conquered,
life science part 1 y'all, i'll be the sponsor, uh

that was a pritty tight 1 bar haha but try to add on to it sometime an make it hot cuz i would like to read that verse when it gets longer

check out my verse "I got a story to tell" thx ~1~

i read it yo, canibus is hot... i thought you took tha name from Biggie cuz niggas be stealin mad shit and he had a song like dat...i'm addin on now

It was ill , but why not put some thought into it , Why not do a whole verse , instead of dropping 1 bar , Take ur time and write a whole verse , This is open mic , Open Mic is for full songs , not for some 4 lines shit.......................Next time put some thought into this...........

naw i took the name from canibus because i though the name went good with it but i didnt bite none of his verses so dont worry i had writers block for a while so im tryna get rid of it by jus spittin anything that comes to mind

can u give feed back to my verse thx ~1~

yooo tha last part of your verse gave me an idea lets make a collab called Life Science you can use that verse but add more to it and when your vers is done then be like life science part 1 remember this / you feel me cuz it'll be hot as hell

imma make up my verse aight we can have 3 or 4 verses bein the order like this

1.me,you,me,you 2.me, you 3. you, me 4.you me you me n so on n so forth u feel me

yeah i gotcha son, let's do that

Good drop right here. I felt it and I like the bullet intro. Good shit with that and really good on the vocab. Kepp droppin and I'll keep an eye out. Hit up my first Open Mic drop "she's gone now..." and drop that feedback.

Laaate.

Knowledge is free, my bullets got college degrees...

That line has to go. Sometimes adding words to the end of a rhyme just so it flows can make you lose your audience attention.
Cause when I first read it I was like okay. Then you completely jumped ship and started talking about the black man has wisdom.

Nice rhyme though..

yo i was feelin that ryme just write some more yo shit was ill though

this piece was ill,it had good structure,over all good piece actually.keep spittin tha illness.~1~

Yeah, I thought your intro really stood out and that's what held my attention.

I guess you added more to your one bar? lol

well, this actually had some shit behind it. It seemed like you were angry at generalization thrown on your race, which isn't a very original topic, but it is universally felt. I think this would have been a more affective piece if you made it about rascism in general, and cut the gangster bullshit. But maybe that's your style, so I'm not one to judge.

You had some nice rhyming.
Your first bar was off the hook, because it fit so nicely with what you wrote afterwards.



not a great bar, but I thought it explained perfectly what your piece was about. Shows rebellion against the society that opresses, and showing that you're more than you look.

Overall, a pretty good piece.
Just try to lengthen it out and go a bit deeper.
Peace