all alone in this world
 

the last release from my text album enjoy this and other peices at www.geocities.com/raven420_ca/album.htm

i caused some shit now i got a week down here in solidarity/
confined to the thoughts in my own mind i'm a lose sanity/
random ripples of wicked thoughts headaches i wish it'd stop/
remember the first time i got into serious trouble with a cop/
13 yrs old being stupid wanted to play basketball late night/
so i broke into the arena and was gonna play until it got light/
but my freind was stupid smashing one too many windows/
the cops came about the noise and so started my life's woes/
that 'freind' quickly become one of my biggest lifetime foes/
day in and out we would clash as leaders of the school yard/
groups almost gangs in toe i had someone with me to gaurd/
i only fought him i remember when weapons were first used/
the start of high school we were sick of being verbaly abused/
he brought a gak but i had something a little more powerful/
he lunged at me i emptied the magazine it had started full/
the blood spilled l the kids were all screaming it was crazy/
now i'm here in a room all alone in a big state penetenary/
i stabbed a man at the cafeteria with my broken tooth brush/
this had started with me and my freind looking for a rush/

no affence but i wasnt reall feelijn that...had some good lines but seemed really basic..im basic 2...but i think you can elavate...so keep droppin man...an put some more heat into it..later

uppin

last up

one more up for fun

lol...uppin man..i'll give you some sympathy feed....

aight this was ok,

you structure is very good, flows is good enough, but the wordplay, content etc was kinda basic:

i caused some shit now i got a week down here in solidarity/
confined to the thoughts in my own mind i'm a lose sanity/
random ripples of wicked thoughts headaches i wish it'd stop/
remember the first time i got into serious trouble with a cop/
13 yrs old being stupid wanted to play basketball late night/
so i broke into the arena and was gonna play until it got light/

the 2nd and 3 rd lines are good, but the rest is really basic content and wordplay wise light with night, cop with stop, there was nothin in the drop that showed you got a good vocab or high ability,

overall it was a solid enough drop, basics are almost sorted, you got much room to improve and elevate, but keep spittin and you could have it....

PEEP MY SPIT "LET LOOSE".....PEACE