yeah...um...yeah
 

u crazy cracka
im the x factor
that wont let u past
no matter how fast
and will only let u kiss my red white and blue ass
mo times then joey did lance bass
u cant get through all ull do is die
and be down on the ground lookin at the sky
and then when ur dead and all u see is black
ill be havin fun doin ur bitch in the back
u try to get on track
and want to hide
scared to go out side
specially on my streets
and with all my hot ass beats
so as i go into the hook
ur in a shop gettin a new look

done reply

Yeah, um... Basic rhyme scheme, simple flow, and a bit cloudy as to what the concept really is. Sort of wanders like a Cash Money song, minus all the bullshit about platinum and benzes or whatever. And at the end you said "so as I go into the hook" so where's the hook? Is this the finished product? I know you can come better than this, but keep droppin and you'll get better as you progress.

Laaate.

why oh why do people spit this type of crap. i aint hating but this herb is whack and really you need to go and read the tutorials in the 'whackness emergency area'

i agree dis is just to simple, 1 word of advice practice, practice, practice