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-   -   My Anger ~ Full Song (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=79252)

Sweet Sauce 09-12-03 12:54 AM

My Anger ~ Full Song
 
I got so much anger Gotta release it....

Hook:
Why i got this in me-
each person i see~i think of em as a enemy/
guess its just the inner G/


When i see u on da street-even if i dun kno u~
i dun hesitate to make u fall of ur feet/
for no aparent reason~
nigga the U.S.A is accusin me of treason/
i dun even kno what that means~
i guess it seems~they want this criminal off the street/
shit they thought hitler was god~if he was~ Im EliTe/
lemee repeat~
shit they thought hitler was god~if he was~ Im EliTe/
u needed to hear it twice~
squashin MC's like mice/
just want to let the World kno im not NaZi~
but when i roll wit da crew~i can be come KaMiKaZEE/
Im more Ozzy~
Then Osborune~yo death no one will morn/

Hook:
Why i got this in me-
each person i see~i think of em as a enemy/
guess its just the inner G/

niggas got jokes-but when they shirt filled wit smokes~
and they cant feel they heart beatin/
they be triple quadreliving~no breathing~
my knifes got enter ur stern um~
the police,ur family, this dun concern um/
my clips~uve~earned um~
and u say ur hard?/
Ill pop yo mouth-yo jaw-im just to raw~
showin da pussies on da streets~
i aint like 50 i dun niggas changin my voice on da beats/
he sounds whack in the real~
i sound Intact in da Feel/
get outta my face~
or ima have to trace~yo~race~pace~me/
Im like Pizza hut~see if i get it dun in 30 mins or less~
if not its free/
either way u gon get bucked~
and T-Vochal~yo mix tape~ it Sucked/
cant compare~not tryin to put fear~but its there~
where? there~where?~ in Vochals stare/

Hook:
Why i got this in me-
each person i see~i think of em as a enemy/
guess its just the inner G/

This is a long ass spit~
got this cat wishin he wasnt such a clit (pussy)/
i got more imagination~
then Dr.Suess and O.J Simpson/
im just glimpson at the knife he used~
lookin at the niggas i bucked~bruised/
im just a 19 yr old nigga~im confused~
love or death~guess witch one i choosed/
i got yo ass in check~
U bout to feel my Tek/
got da fakes in check~
wait~who got u in check?~take a sec/
and think~b4 i stop ur eyes from that last blink~
got yo shirt covered in pink~
o wait its red, bitch yo ass in a casket dead~
from the passive hits to yo head/
i got massive hits~and clips of lead~
leavin u out of breath~
u designed it~im talkin bout yo death///

HoLLa

Maven 09-12-03 05:30 PM

I guess I'll start with what was good.
Your flow was decent, I could feel it, but you should really ditch all the ~ things. they make the piece harder to read.
your style was okay, and you made a few attempt at wordplay, so that was alright.
My favourite lines were:
Quote:
cant compare~not tryin to put fear~but its there~
where? there~where?~ in Vochals stare/

I liked the internal rhyming in that.

just some advise: cut the net-gankstuh bullshit
it makes you look really bad, and makes your rhyme boring. thats why I'm the only person who's replied. Write about something that means something to you, put some emotion in it, cuz noone cares about you busting a cap in someone's ass.

Peace

Sweet Sauce 09-12-03 06:41 PM

thanks for a REAL response nigga ;)

R.V.A. 09-12-03 06:46 PM

ight, your flow is on point but some lines seems kinda lets say eh??

but its a coo' drop

1 keep spittin

Sweet Sauce 09-12-03 07:00 PM

whack reply... why cant u reply with real critism?

DiverseSyndicate 09-12-03 07:15 PM

this was kinda ill,i agree wit understatement,tha gangsta shit,it makes your flows sound trivial,emcees rhyme about real life situations,even if thats a real life situation its boring,nothin MOST of us on here havent seen, i liked your style at times,

this was your best attempt at wordplay and it was pretty ill,probably my favorite line.

[from the passive hits to yo head
i got massive hits~and clips of lead]

other than that u need a lil better vocab,better structure but u got mad potential.keep spittin god.~1~

Sweet Sauce 09-12-03 08:27 PM

thanks for the feedback nigga
Uppin

Sweet Sauce 09-12-03 11:22 PM

uppin

Maven 09-13-03 12:59 AM

why'd you break the rules? 1 thread a day in open mic.
sorry
[closed]


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