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-   -   1 boy (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=79573)

Topic 09-13-03 08:53 PM

1 boy
 
shots from dusk to dawn, he couldnt hold on
hidin in his closet, his soul was long gone
he was to young, and drama has destroyed his mind
family was outa line, lived his life on the grind
till it was black and he was out, lights out
in the park makin his move, till he got hit right out
of counciousness and reality, and mind was out of gravity
different pictures like different strokes, set back distractively
noticed his life was wrong and now he doesnt live happily
15 grown droppin his chrome, gettin outa his zones
made the right decision but now hes receivin blowes
cuz hes got nowhere to go, and at home hes all alone
drunks and child abusers, hes been beat dry to his bone
he decides to change his ways, and meet on different sways
weeks turned from days, then april turned to may
though he was outa the game untill he was mentioned in breath
monotones and dialect he was noticed gone police mentioned death
found the next mornin, he was fine, jus distressed
he was done with the whorin, but he was depressed
as his age steadly inclined, he was released from the stress
untill he was low on money and his momma need to pay her debts
got back in the drug bizness and got back to wittnesed deaths
and he remembered he liked how the gun blowes
budda joints and the smell as the dough goes
to help his mamma and with an unleashed bullet
his life was stopped to an unexpected hult
a shot square to his dome, left him useless to the unknown
left him with his poor family, left him burried behind his home

Topic 09-13-03 10:13 PM

uppin for feedback

aintgonnastop 09-14-03 01:59 AM

that peice was pretty damn good i thouht. i thought the vocab kicked ass, the wordplay was aight, the content was awesome, and the topic was kool. keep postin dude i enjoyed readin that.

Topic 09-14-03 10:54 AM

thanx man, still uppin for feedback

Topic 09-14-03 01:18 PM

uppin for feedback, please give some feedback

Topic 09-14-03 06:09 PM

damn ppl still uppin for some damn feedback

Topic 09-23-03 09:08 PM

uppin for feedback god damn its been like 5 days

gotaloveforrap 09-23-03 09:14 PM

i thought that peice was hella good. i thought the flow was on target, so i could follow it mentally. the vocab and wordplay were both good, and the content and topic was unique and original. good post man.

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81167
thanx

peace.....


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