Family Tree
 

Originally a Collab With jae Cyph, But He Hasnt Done His Verse For It. *Sigh* The End Was Rushed Because It Was Supposed To Flow Into His Verse And Carry On, But It Wouldnt Of Made Sense If Id Left The Last bar In, So I Changed It At The Last Minute. .

Family Tree

. . .The Savage Screams of My Parents argueing Damaged the Scene
And it Seems the Root of the problem stemmed from our Family Tree.
Angrily, i Fought Against the Mental Torments and Benevolent Sin,
Constantly Ignored And Made to Feel Irrelative by My Relative Kin. .
Playing victim to Years of Abuse, the Tearfull Truth of this Scripture,
Is were the Picture Perfect Family, without the Perfect Family Picture.
This inked Expression helps me sink the Depression of Torn Dreams
When i Feel im Playing The Lead in This Soap Opera Called 'Reality'
From a dysfunctional family background, unloved, lost and in need,
of a father figure. im the Black Sheep Asleep under our Family Tree.

Im editing this because I wanted restate what I said..
The reality line was dopeness to the max, good visuals,
through out the whole verse

This inked Expression helps me sink the Depression of Torn Dreams
When i Feel im Playing The Lead in This Soap Opera Called 'Reality'

^^ Dopeness

Cam you are rb's legend...showing it in this piece

Rhymes scheme was def and lines was meaningful as...

Just your opionins and the way your portrayed it was ill

Enuff said^^

But if i was to present my thoughts i'd say your wack

Na'mean?

That was some tight shit right there, props on that, i would quote up a bar, but the whole thing was solid, i'm feelin you.

O yeah

hoe return the favour plz

: )

^ Heh, ive got you man. Just replied to like. .nine other peoples pieces, and not no bullshit reply neither. .

Yet another good drop, but with the consistency of your pieces' accolades, I would have thought you would realize what I do - stories are too easy! I suggest that you take some stance(s) on some worldly issues and write about them; you have to get more creative, and will get more critique. I think stories are fun to write here and there, but, as evident from the first four replies to this piece, you can't get anything in the way of critique. .

As always, the flow was above average - but not up to the elite standards set by your previous drops. I specifically remember you advising me to keep my lines between twelve and sixteen syllables - the Camarac Flow®, $19.99 in this Made-for-RB Offer! You did say you had strewn the end together quickly, so I suppose that would be why your flow wasn't quite up to par towards the end.

The one thing that did intrigue me from the replies of your fan base was the specific line they thought stood out; another line in the piece was what captured my attention.


Maybe it's just me, but these lines struck me as being the standout-ish lines of the piece!

not bad, homie. and by not bad I mean fucking awesome.
but I try not to sound eager. I'm insecure like that.

only thing that was messed was the flow in some places. seemed like the words didn't really fit together, like tryin to put a puzzle piece in the wrong place. the shit don't work.

Internals were nice, and your topic was really well portrayed. Jae never finishes a text collab. I've seen at least three of your pieces that were from a collab with jae where he didn't do his verse.



that line was superduperparatrooper doposity. great finisher.
Peace out, Sloth Tickla!

Is were the Picture Perfect Family, without the Perfect Family Picture. one of the best lines honestly i eva read. some poet shit

^ You Obviously Havent Read Many Of My Pieces, Cause I Tend To Have Lines For Days. .

yo dude that shit was fukkin crazy the line the the family picture was bad as shit how u flipped it around. Damn i dont even know wat else to say so ah ya hit my open mic up w/ a reply thanx PEACE. C.O.T.C.

wow...that shit was dope...that Picture Perfect Family line was ill as fuck...and the piece had madd creativity and flow was on point...I fuckin' love ya little British ass...;) ...I hope to possibly collab one day...

^ Heh, Possibly. .