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-   -   Mad Tight Rhymes (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=79773)

KeMy$t 09-15-03 02:06 AM

Mad Tight Rhymes
 
Hey yo..

My styles unique with every word i say or speak
Im the emcee people seek while gettin high off tweak
I don't bust nines but i do bust flows
With every word i spit all my talent shows
I'm mad tight my rhymes are ill
Your blood i spill while i sit and thrill
You run from thee cuz ur scared of me
Ur minds not free cuz ive got it trapped u see
Ur running scared and ur mind is lost
My rhymes freeze u over like a permanent frost
Leave u standing in your track with ur mind in lapse
Your head fills with words your lungs ready to collapse
Ur inner demons creep cuz i wake them from their sleep
My name is the grim reep cuz i burry u 6 feet deep
I cause nightmares like out of control fevers
I turn scepticts into straight believers
I'm white and im from cornfields but i spit nasty rhymes
When it's my time to shine, ill step into the lime (light)
Words spin through my head like a fukkin merry go round
Then when it comes to my mouth it makes an evil sound
Destruction is on the brink with every word i spray
When is ur time to die? sorry son its today

Yo tell me what u think spit this shit in like 5 minutes if that so ya hit it up with some feedback thanx

cHiLdReN oF tHe CoRn Is BoRn

Mr.Christensen 09-15-03 02:27 AM

Re: Mad Tight Rhymes
 
*Picks up the mic you dropped*

My styles unique with every word i say or speak
Im the emcee people seek while gettin high off tweak


Liked the inner rhyme scheme so far so good

I don't bust nines but i do bust flows
With every word i spit all my talent shows


Kinda played line.. but i see what your saying....wheres the internal rhyme

I'm mad tight my rhymes are ill
Your blood i spill while i sit and thrill


See the internal...simple though

You run from thee cuz ur scared of me
Ur minds not free cuz ive got it trapped u see


thee means you...'You run from you...'

Ur running scared and ur mind is lost
My rhymes freeze u over like a permanent frost


Sticks with theme of running from last line...

Leave u standing in your track with ur mind in lapse
Your head fills with words your lungs ready to collapse


staying with theme, good job... line is pretty good

Ur inner demons creep cuz i wake them from their sleep
My name is the grim reep cuz i burry u 6 feet deep


spelled 'Bury'... good line again

I cause nightmares like out of control fevers
I turn scepticts into straight believers


Easily my fav line... 1st wasnt really a metaphore but i like the 2nd line

I'm white and im from cornfields but i spit nasty rhymes
When it's my time to shine, ill step into the lime (light)


No need to put light there... we got it... cornfields huh?

Words spin through my head like a fukkin merry go round
Then when it comes to my mouth it makes an evil sound


not much to say here

Destruction is on the brink with every word i spray
When is ur time to die? sorry son its today


ending was good... could have been better

Good drop... u need to raise the vocab you use...if this lacked anything it is vocab

*Leaves out of breath*

KeMy$t 09-15-03 02:32 AM

thanx for the imput i really appreciate u breakin it down and shit that is tight thanx again PEACE

Mr.Christensen 09-15-03 02:56 AM

^^ im really bored
and thats my good deed for the day

F.A.G. - nothing anonymous about me

(sorry about freepost)

KeMy$t 09-16-03 11:55 PM

uppin this for some replies aight PEACE

Mental God 09-17-03 12:11 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by The Realist
^^ im really bored
and thats my good deed for the day

F.A.G. - nothing anonymous about me

(sorry about freepost)



<-----------KING F.A.G.

who are you? i dont remember allowing you to be a F.A.G.... you can be a fag tho

KeMy$t 09-17-03 12:13 AM

ok i dont want that crap i want some honest feedback aight PEACE

Pugilist 09-17-03 12:39 AM

not bad, in some parts i felt you were struggling for words to rhyme, so therefore better vocab could help ya out here, but i was reachin for shit wrong, nice drop.

Scittso 09-17-03 02:28 PM

not bad at all. i felt it was kinda basic, but i like da way is was soundin truthfull, how u say u dont bust nines but u bust flows,
overall this peice was aight.....keep it cummin dawg!!!
one.

KeMy$t 09-18-03 05:50 PM

thanx for the feedback, other people who read this tell me wat u think it was just a quick flow so hit this back


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