Split Second
 

I awake in the same old cold cell, with the same old mold smell, and the bars of the jail that i have come to know well/
Convinced that their is no hell, if there is then bring on the devil for some show and tell/
Cause i can sell, some thoughts of evil and tournament, even before i spent one day enduring this confined secure stench/
We could sit and reminess a bit, bout how it was to get hit, every time your stepdad felt like it/
Or how you witnessed him in his animalistic nature, each time he awakened my sister, then fondeled and raped her/
Maybe it was a mistake to think times would change, when he calmed down and climbed out of his irratate rage/
Or could it be from the age of 8 till highschool, that bob thought it was cool, to beat me into a pool of blood and drool/
Who knew what types of an effect total disrespect could do, to a kid with so few, positive influences to look to/
Is it possible that the costant redicule, could have subdued my mental aptitude, making it impossible for me to acknowledge any true love or virtue/
Any hoo i eventually passed the breaking point, by taking the man i called dad's necks and tearing it from the joint/
For every time he slapped, my mom i cracked, each bone till they snapped into splinters/
Now way passed the jitters i then ventured, over to bobs house and waited for him to enter/
Undected so the surprise was not expected, i swung the bat twice and nicely connected/
Then began to beat him so brutally, in blood and drool so he knew what it was like for me/
See, that felt so good but actually, the number of fatalies happened to be three/
Two of the bodies are already stripped of breath while i'm srapped to this seat waiting for the swictch of death/
These memories are what flashed with in my last second left, now happy in hell while others wept/
Ater all this i still have no regrets...and as i am burning i feel blessed,just because i get to up at my real family sitting on heavens front steps/

O.K this needs some work.
Im not saying its bad, but its not good either.
The story was boring, yeah i know its personal but atleast make it interesting. You used alot of internals in here, but it did get overused making the flow if anything, annoying. This was a pain in the ass to read. you overused the internals and the flow was choppy, but some lines were good here and there, and somewhere the piece was interesting. Elevate, you'll get better.

i agree with skiddlez accept i think it was iight it was alittle long thats all if you read over your lines i think you'll see what you could do to make it better good drop though

i agree wit skiddlez,tha story was long,and boring,a boring story wont catch tha readers attention,few multis,average vocab,over all not too bad but needs improvment,stayup and keep spittin elevation is tha way to tha top.~1~