Tickled Sloths: Fine Print
 

G'yeah, Nucca!: Camarac and Understatement

The Four Elements, Combined in a Mind of Raw Eligance
to form thoughts rivalling the power of a Storms nemesis
Born genesis, mother natures surrogate Sun is Tomorrow
who's thoughts go out to all those Drowned in my sorrows.
Surrounded by Hollow Minded folks, their too blind to see
that each rhyme i speak, helps me to put my mind at ease
and to Release Perfection through my Speech & Direaction
Im trapped inside the eye of the storm, pleeding redemption. .
Bleeding each sentence dry, Question why we speak first?
were Dressed for Success, wearing our Levi's and T-shirts.
The Critique Spurns my Writing Urge to sit & recite words
in a stylish verse, words on canvas like im fightin w/ verbs!
Igniting the surge of addrenalin` Understatements peddlin`
Black magic meddleing, Heaven sent, why dont you tell 'em kid. .

Insatiable hunger causes me to stumble and fall
Third season before winter, killing hope for us all
right before it all boils down to exactly what we
were striving to censor from our television screens
the children of the future are living in the past
in the Land before their time, still finishing last
in our race, the Human race, exterminating this fast
disgrace to true man's face, contaminating his cast
my time slips through cold hands on the digital clock
severed spinal chords;no,wheel chairs can't crip walk
or flip flop, even! walked all over like cheap shoes
and cheap booze to feed news to those with weak blues
to speak truths when all sources consult magic 8Balls
illegal substances to lessen the stress when you call
ocular strains,peering through God's window's tint
Cam and Maven's Words like Porn:



[SIZE=0.1]Everyone Reads The Fine Print![/SIZE]


wErd!

although i'm not sure who did what verse... i liked them both so i guess i'll just critique it as a whole... the flow in the first verse wasn't as good as the second, but still worked... vocab was good, pro'lly even with second verse... i liked the wordplay in the second verse better... eg "my time slips through cold hands on the digital clock".... <----that was genious.. lol... all together... i liked it ... 1...

i agree^^^ both verses were well put and on point,good vocab ,good multis,good imagery, good wordplay,over all good spit,keep droppin.~1~

First off, just a little spelling corrections.
Elegance
Rivaling
Direction
A couple “theirs” should have been they’re
Pleading

“Born genesis, mother natures surrogate Sun is Tomorrow”
-I think this was from Cam’s? They weren’t labeled, but going by style and all, I think this part was Cam’s. Anywhoo, great line, that’s the type of thing that makes me happy to have you in WP. :D

“Insatiable hunger causes me to stumble and fall
Third season before winter, killing hope for us all”
-This is the reason your one of my favourites, that’s word…perfect. LoL
”my time slips through cold hands on the digital clock”
Metaphuking amazing.

Great work you two.
*Strikes One Up For WP’s Dopeness*

^ Heh, this was keyed over aim, lol.

^thanks

weRd?

TIGHT DROP...i felt that was good, the veres were equally flowed. a like the 2nd a lil better then the first, vocab was good, it felt very thought out for some of the lines...good drop peace

Dopeness . .

Cam was the first verse, I know this from his style (internals lol). Both verses were very well written, good vocab and flow.. Conttinue being dope..

werdness.

not bad...was pretty nice wit the flow...ya vocab was coo...i was just feelin it through the whole piece nig...

igido

cough* someone sticky this *cough

the fuck? don't be gay cam

Word.............U're the best mod ever............And yes I will give u feedback on this piece....Just let me read it

^I'm waitin on the feedback ;)