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-   -   Searching for feelings within a numb body (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=80238)

filed 09-17-03 04:43 PM

Searching for feelings within a numb body
 
self causious gaze into a mirror
strip down your numb feelings
the outside is all thrown away
as you fall into your interiour

it seems you must discover something
or your ticking mind will end
your body starts concealing
on your own hands you must depend

you start off slowly feeling
scared of this new place you take on
around the entrance you are tracing
gaining convidence slowy you move on

inside where you trembling fingers enter
touch the silky plaster of my skin
startled to feel less of a danger
your welcome here within

you find yourself frantically searching
for something you can not discribe
in every nook and cranny your looking
thou cant see inside with you eye

vibrations start occuring
you think less more and more
found a wonderful place of feelings
now open to explore

J Nice 09-17-03 07:22 PM

different. peaceful and tranquil yet explosive and dominant.
it was like you took me on a journey with you.
nice art.

The Necromancer 09-18-03 11:09 AM

Actually I got a similiar reaction to this peace. It was seemingly peaceful and zen. And it was also seemingly a whirlwind of emotions.

Technical problem, the fourth verse had an extra line.

Anyway, there is more to this peice then I'm capable of feeling right now. I'll have to read it later on to fully digest it.

~Shalom~

Smooth JT 09-18-03 11:16 AM

It was peaceful. Made me think and made me at peace.

Baron Mynd 09-18-03 11:24 AM

Yeah, the fourth verse w/ the fifth line is all that really drew me from this piece, it threw your flow as i read it, but content wise this was dope, really nicely worded, strong writers voice, held my attention, i liked this line:

the outside is all thrown away
as you fall into your interiour

^ Really thought provoking, a good metaphor of a metaphor i guess. All in all i liked this, nice my girl = )

WeRd-smith 09-19-03 02:43 AM

took me a second read to understand what you were saying once i got it i appreciated this piece so much more. the extra line didn't throw me as much as every one else in fact i didn't even notice it until i read the posts afterward. you have a deep thought mind girl. good work.

filed 09-19-03 04:46 PM

OMG

LOL that line isnt suppose to be there!!! i'll fix it now thou. man way to make me look smart :)

thx for the replys all and taking the time

~Tera~
DONT HATE

The Necromancer 09-20-03 12:42 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by filed
man way to make me look smart :)


Well yes, I do have that effect on people.

And for the record, you're not the only one to scream their own name during sex.

I suppose if there was anyone else in the room with me, I might scream their name... but... I still fly solo cause I'm just that damn good.

LYRICALLY BLACK 09-20-03 09:10 AM

This piece was incredibly full of emotion..but the emotion wasn't like jumping out at you...you had to actually read it to feel the emotion here..i liked this alot...good stuff..HEAVY


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