read and reply, would like feedback
 

This ill expresion sends you down in depression,
Egotistical tension to mention the name of fame,
explain this shit, kick you back in your mother,
no other way to display such idiotic game play,
Venting the anger and pain that makes me go insane,
Strain myself to short circuit my brian,
Lame ass emodities, a child prodigy,
Apology not taken while i fry ur ass like bacon,
takin your ass to show your display,
splittin like a chick when the situation flips,
extreme action to faction this part of your life,
Not right, dispite the constant iligidemit gestures,
Suppress this mess that people call the "world",
Hurlin ur ass like rocky the squirl ,
burrow ur ass into the grasp of a king,
make you burn in hell as britney tries to sing,
bring down the house, talk to your futal sprose,
mechanical meyhem, barrols on the gats spinnin,
ten thousand bullets straight up hittin,
ever part of your body, hear the blood spillin,
as you take the last breathes of life, start to fade,
you may know now what life is all about,
killing and running is a everyday thing ,
Spring into action and watch my boys subtractin,
there lives on a line gettin their ass trashed,
they didn't commit, to a life thats not legit.

firstly why is ya writin give me feedback where the name of da spit should be............................second you used some good vocab, but ya flow needs some work it wasn.t really dion it for me

aight.........................check my latest open mic............. feedback is all good

that shit was aight.i aint hattin

everyone likes to sleep to damn much so i gotta give em a clue to actually give some to me. My first one was better cuz it's bout something i like. peace out and thatks 4 da replys

twin this wasnt that bad i liked alot of it but certain lines took away from it,,,,you got potential no doubt keep doing you pop....