Thinking...
 

Thinking...

My Mind in Deep Thought, Searching for Soul Tranquility..
To search with in myself and bring out my True Abbilities..
Move with Agility - and to Know the things Un - Known..
in Heavy Consentration, my sweat could Break Stones..
focused on the Words i Speak - my Health at its Peek..
my Eyes are Keen, able to find anything in which i Seek..
i can Sneak with Stealth -- i am the Cellophane Human..
Disguised from the Naked Eye, which i Tease for Amusement..
leaving my Victims shocked -- there Bodies Glazed over..
Thats how i could of went about it, to bad i Just Shot the Poser..

~ Saul Goode

Feedback please...

Not bad my man. .
short and to the point, the topics been done numero unous times before, but this was decent for whats there, good content, vocab's pretty good, nice use of multi's and internals to get the piece done, flow was a little rickety in some areas, but nothing major.
Not really a lot to critique, but welcome to WP and i hope you learn from me.


Oh, make your bars even, hoe. it looks better presented.

Werd.

I will work on making my bars even, I just did this because I was bored.. and thank you for the welcome, lmao.

You Junky.

Uppin for some feedback.

Good stuff here...

decent imagery with a decent flow...

very short but still good...

keep writing man...

it's pretty decent, not a bomb spit but it was a coo' drop

keep em coming

1

yeah it was decent for a quick key...

nice structure.. flowed nicely.


trying choosing a topic.. and spiting to that. would like to see ... how you drop on topicals.