~~EvEryDaY ShiT~~ [can i post this one now???]
 

a new day and tha news is portrayin useless on civilians//
everyday tha same-situation never change-switchin-places erasin-faces by tha millions//
billions more rip-hardcore,tripped on hard-floors, when my balance extinguished//
my beef is relinquished but i squashed it lookin at this delinquent//
frequent tags outline tha zigs-and-zags,and pigs-get-mad when i get-my-bag//
roll a couple and take some drags, pullin harder than homosexual fags//
my destination is a search for respiration, smoke in a room full of desilation//


Chorus
my life slows when tha shows get empty//
slice mics to excite, so dont tempt-me//
i entice your wrong and right, you cant exempt-me//

watch me change-up//
tha style my girl fucked-so-much rearrange-nuts, tired of plain-sluts//
want-it-unique, want a girl whos wantin-to-speak//
flauntin-my-speech,tauntin-my-reach//
so my dick'll make up for tha inches lost-when-we-meet//
relationships long-distance, don't work but make for strong-fitness//
im my own witness, who spits lyrics tha swiftest, hit ya bitch then rip ya dickless//
now whos sickest, ill-rhymes will-fill-minds w/ real-crime//
Syndicates intricately mixin-shit in real-time//
gotta nine heres tha real-shine now feel-mine//

Chorus
my life slows when tha shows get empty//
slice mics to excite, so dont tempt-me//
i entice your wrong and right, you cant exempt-me//


facts-are-made and acts-are-played, performed like jack-when-sacks-get-slayed//
roll up weed in tha back-we-lay, couple more blunts and in tha back-im-layed//
walk astray from where tha beats-will-play, for my heat-ill-pray//
too-much-disgust, thats whats-tha-fuss,watch-me-crush//
mix my gin wit rasberry slush, then hush, tha sweet dro's-so-lush//
snows-rush is tough-to-touch, and it fucks-ya-up//
so-much it takes ya personality and sucks-it-up, ya luck-is-fucked//

uppin

Good looks, sounds smart, and the words flow are completely perfect. I liked your choice of words, your wordplay, vocabulary, and your multis were all inline. This was a dope drop, and I liked your Chorus-

Chorus
my life slows when tha shows get empty//
slice mics to excite, so dont tempt-me//
i entice your wrong and right, you cant exempt-me//

Overall it was amazing, no wonder your labeled as a 'HeavyWeight' You definetly have some ill drops. I give this a 9 out of 10, a sick introduction, and a sick ending.

thanks for the reply,by the way the first line has a typo in it let me fix it



sorry for tha inconvinience

still uppin come on yall dont sleep^^^

The chorus was good, i liked it a lot flowed good i thought, all your verses seemed good, they had some good flow i thought, you ended the song good to i though overall id say it was a good song, keep dropping man.

thanks for the feed back playa,uppin^

uppin for some votes^^

we need to collab after reading this i think we could compliment each others style very well.
you did an awesome peace here and i really enjopyed the read.please give me a hard critique on my new peace

thats a good idea,uppin this one mo` time

uppin once again

yo nigga, this shit is hot fool, i love the vocabulary... i hadnt felt ur flow in awhile dawg, and the truth is i miss it... this one hit the spot. i can pretain to all of it, definitely an eye oppener.. keep droppn bro, see ya around.

I'm feelin ya bro, you ripped this shit, but more so in verse 2 and 3, that shit was tight.

'now whos sickest, ill-rhymes will-fill-minds w/ real-crime//
Syndicates intricately mixin-shit in real-time//
gotta nine heres tha real-shine now feel-mine//'

damn.

i appreciate tha repies

uppin this shit for tha last time.