yo...
 

yo,
im back wit a new alias and a past wit rap so ill i cant be fakin this//
none of yall fools prolly member me but just becuase, dont be hatin shit//
gettin hasty with, the time i have to spit whats on my mind//
so many things to express *sigh* and so little time//
i reach in my innermost depth of my brain searching for light//
but all i come up with is anger directed toward a mic//
toward the site of peoples faces, as i beleive everyones judgen//
i see everyone as an obstacle overcomin them is my only function//
a rambunctious criminal wit a scheme to leave u lost//
and a hater with no flavor so im douzin it in sause//
got a cross of jade round my neck and a story to tell//
too bad i cant tell it, i would but im in school, and i just heard a bell//

one..

aiight kid on tha real,this shit was ill, nice vocab,nice structure,nice wordplay, all in all nice drop,kinda simple but still ill,i give this an 8 out of 10.

damn jesse i didnt know you was still in school.oh well hit me up sometime we can collab and shit,last weekend i came to ya apartment but you was either alseep or gone,anyway i aint clutterin just lettin ya know.hit me up later fool.~1~

This was a decent piece, basically stating your back which isnt too original, flow was decent in this, vocab was a little basic, you had multi'sd in there which helped towards the flow of this piece, not many internals which you may want to think about working on, there was no real 'wordplay' in this, so i dunno what Diverse was reading. . overall, the piece was too short to really get into, didnt have anything eye-openingly brilliant but for whats there it was decent.

Ditch the // at the end of your lines, they make you look like a newbie.

Peace!

^yo what's wrong with these // man... hehehehe.... lol....
I be using them too... lol...
Yo, this was cool man, shit had some flow... kinda freestyle-like to me... not too damm interstin... a bit basic, but you had something to say...
I think I can relate to this... I left the site for a minute before... came back and posted something about coming back and shit.... lol... I'll keep a look out for your drops... keep it coming...

Peace

thanks yall appreciatie the critquen' been awhile since ive done this and i been needn to elevate my raps, not like last time when i got slept on... must have improved a bit, nonetheless much love to all yall who replied.. ill check yall out... one.

Yeah this peice was a nice read i thought, you could use some more wordplay, your flow was very nice i think, your multies were nice too, and your vocab was alright...keep dropping.