Topical
 

After:
Spittin Flames~writin mad rhymes~
Hittin Dames (Brunets)~slangin nines/

Step up onto the stage~
Put the mic to my mouth~ spit the pent up rage/

No longer workin minimum wage~
Got rhyme book filled to the end of the page/

Got the game on lock~
Its a shame~we still missin Pac'/

Macs and teks be apart of my life~
it aint like they werent b4~just another strife/

Fans look up to me~
Lots of wanna-b's/

Before:
Walkin down da street wit my du-rag~
spottin a Crip~gotta unlock the-new-mag/

I think he spotted my stash~
ima inflect pain~like a horrible rash/

Pashion for violence~weapon conceling~
Wit all this i smile less~pullin da trigga now how dis nigga feelin/

King love~thinkin im so tough~
Gods Above~hes had enough/

Ive commited lots of crimes and neva been cought~
cops look for me~neva been sought/

I got arrested for murder~
And this bitch lied~and said i 'hurt her'/

10-20 years im facin~
in my jail cell pacin/

My life is comin to a end~
then again~God still loves me~My mom wont even hug me/

My house got searched~found some sacks~
Pounds~Oz's and lots of Macs/

I got my sentence reduced to 11 years~
but in all that time i'd never reduce the tears/

I got out of the gates~26 years old~
Fates~put me here in the blisterin cold/

I got a job at a club~and startin spittin~
Now whos wishin~mine came true~Real rappers i start dissin/

Now im the top nigga~
No more hopes~no more pullin da trigga/

nice.......... thats all i gotta say is nice
yo can you hit me back
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81318
thnx D

This peice was alright, you had some good lines and some weak ones, try to even the lines out, and maybe work on your structure a little bit, but other than that its pretty good, and if you get the chance drop some feedback on me and Gene Pools peice called "Nice Guys Finish Last" Thanks.

i thought that post was pretty good.^^^like he said there was some awesome rhymes, but also some weak ones. the content and topic were ok, and overall id rate that a 7-7.5/10. keep postin and elevatin man i enjoyed readin that.

yo can u check out my post if u have the time?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81167
thanx

peace.....

thanks.. ima drop another topical its way better then this