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IC: Ill Mental vs Chrit
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Oh great...
Checking in I suppose.... Yep... |
^^What???
lol jk... check in |
On the horizon i see different colors and lights
I see the diferent relationships, accompanied by the fights I see the nights, when you wish you had someone there somone who cared, and someone who with everything you shared somone you wouldnt be scared to talk to somone whos door you could walk through whne you have a problem thats caught you it shocks you when you realize where your horizons brought you you ought to, look back and reminisce on the bliss of the kiss that life gave you when it saved you, life is not a fable the cards are face down on the table all bets are off, no matter what the cost i cant go back in time without getting lost they only call it the past cause its forgone from time but it stays stuck in your mind till you explore, peel it away like a orange rind see what you find, is the truth of the future peice it together like a puzzle held with sutures stitch it, make sure it sits right fits tight, and glows in your mind at night it makes you bright, cause you now have the insight to see what you are doin with your life ....good luck |
Second try at topical....
Still learning Another keyed verse... Born a faceless baby... another face in the crowd... Thought I was special thats why I cried out loud... Infancy intilled the fact.. life's snowflake we all matter... Meaning is what we strive for... its the goal we are after... School starts and tells us to strive for individuality... But yet tells us to conform... I cant stand this duality... Taught to follow rules.. yet we must think outside the box... Formulas to adhere to yet preaching original thoughts... School prepares us for real life... Is this how things must be... A society that tells us what to do... how to think and what to be?... I guess ignorance is bliss... I hope to be blind to reality... Freedom a fantasy... Being able to speak ya mind... a fallacy... You must work to support yourself... Another role to play.... Wondering when I'll choose my own path... could it be today?... Retirement comes anticipated... shutter to think I truly hate it... So stuck in a rut... that I now miss this game and how I've played it... Deaths around the corner... not afraid I"m truly stunned... Realization that REAL life... only exists "on the horizon" |
ohhhh shit good pieces by both. I liked ill-mentals piece but i was a little too simple for me and fell off at the end. But good flow and everything. Not puttin your piece down at all.
Chrit had a beautiful piece. Even though we kinda beefin right now props go where props go. I really felt it. 1-10, i give it a 7.5 n that's good for bein new to topicals. In contrary to Ills verse yours got better as it went on. From this point on it was really good. Quote:
thats great stuff vote - chrit |
not bad topicals by both......Ill....nice grasp on the imagery but
i don't think it was just for me....kinda simplistic....chrit.....not bad...better than ur first one....better vocab and flow then ill.... more complex...i liked that.....so i'm gonna go wit Chrit on this one..... |
chrit had better word play and he had better flow and structure.
ill was more on topic but he had less of what chrit had. his words could have been better so i have to go with chrit. |
I personally thought Ill came pretty nice in this one, a nice take on the topic, good storytelling and such but your emotion and imagery werent really there and that threw me a little, but yeah, you surprised me in this one, Chrit just edged you out this week, but stick around,m you did pretty good man = )
V- chrit |
good job chrit.... nice verse... you tod me to go easy... but i didnt know you were that good... you surprised me... good match im pretty sure you got this... maybe we can have another match up later in the season... rematch baby lol
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dag yo.
Ill Mental-Your verse had really really good internals. Everything rhymed. It was a like a Beastie Boys verse. I loved it. Your content was only so/so. You had a couple good metaphors, and you definately looked deeply into the topic. Good work. Chrit-improvement like whoa. You had a great scheme, great metas, this whole verse was off the hook. shit the period ended. vote-chrit. |
I thought Ill's verse was pretty good. I think some of its appeal was in this perceived "simplicity." The flow really kept up nicely. But, some of the rhymes were predictable. And the finality was kind of unrealized to me. But, good work.
Chrit's verse, on the otherhand had a rather good sense of finality (considering the Death and all!). There was a positive social commentary that superceded the personal meanderings of Ill's verse. The flow was not as on-point, but it did shake it up a bit... with the hesitation/trailing off mid-bar. Now, I guess I am the wrong one to bitch about this, because sometimes I feel I do it to. But the actual topic did not leap out to me in either verse. It was kind of a tack-on item that was certainly not imperitive. But that doesn't stop verses from being nicely written. Vote - Chrit |
Chrit wins.
you guys got, like, decent votes and shit. [closed] |
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