The Light...Part 1...
 

i awoke at 3 in the morning.. & stumbled through the darkness
dreams of eagles soaring.. their freedom i longed to harness
these walls are harmless.. i use them to guide me through the night
but is seems god also put them there.. to block my goals in life
i shot for the light.. but the angels mustve decided to block the net
the bulb burnt out.. just my soul and I, in the darkness we were left
back to bed i crept.. hopefully today wont resemble the last
heard my sister appyling cosmetics, she calls it make-up..i call it a mask
Dad dropped his flask.. the only time it wasnt close to his heart
cold shower, no breakfast.. usual routine before it was time to depart



im doing this in parts so i can get feedback and improve throughout...

dope dope dope dope dope...
this is one of the best peices i have seen u do for a while....
i felt it and i really got this line and it jus amazed me cuz it was so real..

back to bed i crept.. hopefully today wont resemble the last
heard my sister appyling cosmetics, she calls it make-up..i call it a mask

very nice man...keep droppin the dopeness lol
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O'Kay O'Kay

You had a solid rhyme scheme that you can't fault...maybe add some more multis but that wasn't needed...

The vocab fitted in with what you was trying to say but could of been upped...So far practically perfect

But...

The imagery made it more than perfect

dreams of eagles soaring.. their freedom i longed to harness
these walls are harmless.. i use them to guide me through the night

That's dopeness right there^^

Your thoughts we're encripted throughout which will seem dope to any half-decent open mic(ers)..

..::Overall::..

Would like to see more and more content in your next piece

That was good sex on a herb gardens cuz it was dope as fuck!!

Potent has spoken

This was a good peice, it was a good read i thought, Your flow was pretty good, you had good wording and vocab was good, Overall it was a good peice i thought very good.

Hmm...

Decent flow...

Worplay and imagery were great...

Would love to see an etended drop on this...

Thats the only piece that hurt this piece...
Lack of content..

Peep:
Huh? ft Chrit

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very good my FAG brotherin

i shot for the light.. but the angels mustve decided to block the net
the bulb burnt out.. just my soul and I, in the darkness we were left
^^^my fav line... very dope

keep the illness comin... we need to do a collabo!

44 views and 5 replys? shit..



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gotta say very nice piece.....it wasn't dragged or anythin......it was simple yet hot.....i liked the way ya put ya lines together......reminded me of a cetain pharoah monch...........word^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Yeah, i liked this actually, one of the better ones ive seen from you, content was pretty good, flow was decent, good rhyme scheme and internals, could of used a few more multi's to spice it up a little, not really a lot for me to critisize, but yeah, all in all a good piece my man, short and to the poiint.

Props.

P.S - Hury up with the audio collab :)