Crumbled Ceilings
 

All the Misfortune ive seen, I scream . . . To sooth my wounded eyes
Consumed in life around me inside glancing at gloomy skies
From the speeches and books that tell us to be civilized
Showing me a path, but, TV and Media teaches me other wise
Have I realized that nothings real, or maybe reached maturity
Or did this uncertainty capsize when it breached my purity
25 Years old holding 52 more years of unanswered questions
The only impression I gathered was to stay dancing for suggestions
Sacrifice my soul if that pays the price of living this life
While you run to Elderly People that lived in a different world for advice
It’s a device designed to keep us blind within our minds
So my thoughts shine when I let my dreams bleed out in these rimes

(talking in background)

Sometimes I just don’t get you Scot. Why cant you just be like other people
Do you know that im embarrassed to tell people that im even friends with you. . .
Why are you so fucked up? Whats wrong with you meng?

(talking Fades)

….::::Ive taken the beatings and returned the favor with a smile
Cause to give into this pyle of filth I was given isnt my style
While your reading someones words, im creating my own facts
So I can show you how to think for yourself when you finally get off your ass…::::

. . . My lasting impression will be two stiff fingers pointing at this earth
Then leave my ‘fuck you’s’ in appreciation or Praising what its worth
My birth was a downfall. . . so now the worlds faced with what it made
Were my faith was slayed in a picture given to me hinting harder days
Don’t take me away, Let me be a glamour child to explain pain
Were my rimes define time trapped between lines of Crazy and sane
This planets plain if you see through all the gray areas
And veer into the thriving heart of a beast that sprays hysteria
My arms extended to the moon hoping I can catch a breath of light
But till then im confined to striding hollow halls in confusion I fight!

My Arms Extended to the Moon hoping I Can Catch a Breath of light
Till then im confined to walking behind sins guiding my plight. . .

yo man that shit was deep. vocab, flow, structure, multi's, strong rhyme scheme, everything man, it was all tight. was really feelin that the whole time man. tight drop. keep it up.

and if u want man check out mine and masta C's collab called "nice guys finish last (feat. Masta C)" and leave some honest feedback. any advice to make things improve would be great. thanx in advance man. peace

O'Kay O'kay

The rhyme scheme was there throughout...thats a big plus, the flow therefore was dope, vocab was tight throughout...all ill

Basic stuff...blah

My birth was a downfall. . . so now the worlds faced with what it made
Were my faith was slayed in a picture given to me hinting harder days

Dope^^That line had really good imagery and caught me in the moment(trully did)

Don’t take me away, Let me be a glamour child to explain pain
Were my rimes define time trapped between lines of Crazy and sane

That was one of your worse lines...the ineternals seemed to basic but the flow was nice..but could of been bettered

..::Overall::..

Kept on topic with a str8 flow and some great imagery and depth into your topic

...Hit up one of mine...Pz

Danka shine,

Upsi daisie

Yeah, this was pretty good my man, flow was its strongpoint, good rhyme scheme / structure, the vocab was pretty good, i thought it got better towards the end, the beginning didnt really have the content that the bottom verse had, there was a few lines that stoodout, mainly because of the emotion or imagery behind them, i liked this:
….::::Ive taken the beatings and returned the favor with a smile
Cause to give into this pyle of filth I was given isnt my style
and the line about `arms stretched to the moon. .` you just need to ditch all the periods and stuff before each line to pause for flow, they get annoying after a while, but all in all this wasnt a bad piece, i havent read one of yours ina long time, but props.