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-   -   Losing Hope (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=81585)

Menik 09-24-03 08:47 PM

Losing Hope
 
All this fucking-shit..i cant even be ducking-it...and ill be honest I got problems/
I take everything the wrong-way..cause I do things the long-way…and issues? I got’em/
And I cant even speak-cleary…plus my own peeps-fear-me…this is just-not-good/
I have no place-to-turn…I guess I gotta face-the-burn..cause I can’t trust-the-hood/
Things are starting to get drastic….and the fact-is….I can’t even get myself in order/
I try to remain calm..but I just clench my palms..cause im on the verge of crossing the border/
I know I wont be making-it…cause im always taking-hits…and it just kills-my-heart/
I ask myself why-kill?..cause people don’t care how I-feel…just as long as I fill-my-part/
And I try to stop-the-hate..but my success is not-that-great…but yet I still-try/
But hope is slowly diminishing..while this next guy im finishing…but one day it will-die/


its a shorter than what i usually do but, Leave me some FeedBack on it, Thanks.

**~SynText~** 09-24-03 09:34 PM

yo this was a nice piece here ....really like the style and the multis u used.....flwo was on point and the wordplay was skittish but still good..........keep dropppin holmes very nice


stay up

Menik 09-24-03 09:37 PM

Hey man, thanks for the feedback, its much appreciated, keep the feedback coming.

rule 09-24-03 11:12 PM

yo thanks for the feed back on myn...apreciated...and on to yours..flow was good, metass were good..word play was decent..it was a good read..it would be better if you add onto it in the future...keep it up man 1

Menik 09-24-03 11:18 PM

Hey man thanks for the feedback, much appreciated, keep it coming in..thanks

C-TownsFinest5 09-24-03 11:18 PM

Really like it mane.good flo and multies.keep it up i love all yo shit u spit masta c.holla mane.


CTF(represent)

Mr.Christensen 09-24-03 11:21 PM

flow flow flow.... that had me on the edge of my seat
mulits could have been better, a few even seemed forced
good drop none the less

if you would be so kind
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81616

Menik 09-24-03 11:38 PM

Hey guys thanks for the feedback, Much Appreciated, Keep the feedback coming, Thanks.

Menik 09-25-03 02:31 AM

Uppping for some more feedback, if you check it out please leave some feedback, its much appreciated, thanks.

MonStar 09-25-03 02:47 AM

nice drop, liked the multi's. the flow was good, wordplay was ok. i really liked the rhyme scheme, stayed on topic and was good. keep it up.

Menik 09-25-03 03:55 AM

Hey man thanks for the feedback, keep it coming, much appreciated, thanks.

Menik 09-25-03 02:55 PM

Upppping this for some more feedback, if you check it out leave some feedback to let me know what you think, Much Appreciated, Thanks.

Gene Pool 09-25-03 03:30 PM

was an alright read man. everything was on track but if I know u as well as I do I think u could do better. but other then that it was a good read. but to break it down ur wordplay lacked a bit but flow was nice, multi's coulda been a bit better (vocabulary wise) and ur vocab was kinda lacking to but u had a good rhyme scheme so keep it up bro. peace.

Menik 09-25-03 04:58 PM

Hey man thanks for the feedback, Keep the feedback coming, its much appreciated, Thanks.

LM 09-25-03 05:01 PM

Your piece was good. You've got talent. Don't waste it!


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