AbSeNt TrUsT
 

trust is a tender issue we've delved into before
what once was a serene landscape now resembles war
for you to say i'm absent as a father and a mate
and you had to look elsewhere to talk and copulate
makes me want to smash knick knacks to set you straight
you wanna start a fight but i refuse to take the bait
apologies won't help this time they come little too late
i guess infidelity is an unfortunate and inheritable trait
time and time again i folded you in the strength of my embrace
kissed you in soft and warm places lovingly touched your face
held you close in comfort and wrapped your body in lace
i gave all i could give tore open my soul to salve your pain
cooled your fire in the summer covered your head in pouring rain
now i'm force to curse the pillow where your head has lain
hide my eyes so you won't see you are the focus of my shame
true to the end i let you drive me nearly insane
i can't believe i was so blind so dumb so utterly inane
to think you could change and be the woman i'd respect
someone i could love and trust what more should i expect
from the day we met i was sure we could connect
beset on all sides by warnings both near far and up above
thought we could overcome anything as long as we had love
now i say to leave you crying and ask me to forgive your mistake
how many chances do you need how many will you take
no sweetheart my eyes are open i know your pleas are fake
i have to move on to live be strong for little Maliks sake
it hurts inside to know you lied and hid the truth with such ease
i can't hate you but i must go so let go and just let me leave
if i had one wish i would rewind the hands of time and stop
but i can't and so i journey on now that my head is back on top

good lines....
time and time again i folded you in the strength of my embrace*

this was all good really..it seemed like you were
rhyming my rhyme..were alike for the most part
on issues and feelings across and id love to do a
song with you and maybe put it on an upcoming cd....
check your private messages man...I know ive been
a ghost but ive been busy busy....you can pick the
beat and topic and ill write something..da da da da da..
and itll be nice...undoubtedly....please contact me homie

since you got your own computer now... Conflo1801

la paz

thanks upping.........

iight

i liked this lots! it came across loud and clear, the whole message was layed out before me, and i felt like i could reach out and feel your emotions.

i can't believe i was so blind so dumb so utterly inane
to think you could change and be the woman i'd respect
someone i could love and trust what more should i expect
from the day we met i was sure we could connect
beset on all sides by warnings both near far and up above
thought we could overcome anything as long as we had love

this part was the part i loved the most, because its something i use to think to myself, that even thou we may not connect now, im sure we will fall in love soon.

it was a good read, had a great flow, and vocab that fitted it

~Tera~
DONT HATE

OMG...WHy the hell does this only have 3 replies..Its the best damn piece on the whole page...
Prophiit, You are incredibly talented...Everything I have read from you has had an enormous impact on me, and this was no different...I felt like I was right there with you, experiencing everything you were saying, which I could already relate to in many ways.....
This piece was great, I have nothing but respect for you and your writing abilities..I hope you keep blessing us, cuz your work is truly amazing..
Stay up with this!
Pz

now i'm force to curse the pillow where your head has lain
hide my eyes so you won't see you are the focus of my shame

^ makes me want to go lay my head down on my pillow .and SOB my freakin eyes out


this is a lost peice only lost cuz its near the bottom of the page

this was truly amazin damn i love it

how many chances do you need how many will you take
no sweetheart my eyes are open i know your pleas are fake
^
reminds me of my ex
always saying BABy ill change i swear just give me one more chance

dumb n heartsick id give in
only to get hurt once more i jsut wish i would have been able to see that they were *fake*

this was a wonderful peice
absolutly astounding and i cant give ONE peice of advice to improve it one bit

thanks for all the replies..........especially you gege.......coming from you that is a true compliment.........upping

I appologize for not giving you more feedback and not
doing the usual pro.....this was very nice and theres some
people that just put together words to match and others
can match the words as well as telling a decent story...

your one of the others and ive honestly seen better
work from you but this was definately worth reading...
vocabulary...average..story...average...do a cd man

la paz

^your first reply wasn't really lacking anything..........

this was more of a vent.....as close to giving away personal info over the net i'll ever probably get.......gege and hazyb liked it i think because of its realness......i usually try for a higher vocab and more of an intricate flow as in real life i rhyme pretty fast more internal then multi's.........i'm working on a cd (in a studio...3rd rate but oh well) with my sister Marcy Malone........i put my three favorite quotes down in my sig......i'm going to hit you up on aim in the middle of october.....my cuz is going to help me with my soundclick and show me how to use acidpro......i'll pm you with some topics......

oh yeah upping for just a little more feedback