Why Am I Me?
 

This piece title signifies i'm stupid
But cirriculums implied are illisuve

Headmistress: Matt Why Don't You Put Effort In

...Cuz i can't be bothered

Headmistredd: Matt Why Do You Behave in...in your way...it's unaceptable

...Cuz i'm me...yes me

Headmistress: Sorry but...You have to follow rules...If you carry on the way you are...Your going to be wasted

...

I've tasted tears so sour from being designated above peers
I'm now wasted meer product thats just generated tough fear
Thoughts never hesitated, maybe why i'm making my mistake
Registering complaints but severing power so there restraint
Never arrayed but i have prayed...but it just doesn't happen
I don't want to be stereotyped!! Desired to be cussin rappin
Not admired for struttin detractin grades with expectations
Bigger than scientific equations to perform terrific and amazing
Illicit behavour pervaying...That is the worse thing imagined
School isn't difficult it's just that prioritys is being challenged
Like a salmon it feels after my education its gonna fade away
Clocks now found running away from me so i'll just play a gay
Stay another day keepin with the times instead of being behind
Where did deprived enthusiasm deprive from? i'm unable to find
Constructions of our minds design...

You may not understand that..cuz thats me^^

How Do You Fucking Do IT Your Always Opening Mics This Was Dope Nice Vocab I Liked The Flow Keep Doing What Your Doing..Was That a True Story Or Fiction?.

Re: Why Am I Me?
 

I'm going to break this down into two parts in order to specifically clarify my critique . It was a briskly disappointing piece, I'm sorry to say . It wasn't necessarily your writing, but more along the lines of your mindset . To me, it seemed as if vocabulary and rhyme was forced; especially at the onset of your piece . For example:


I didn't quite understand the content or meaning of this line, unfortunately. It seemed out-of-place and strewn together for the sake of rhyme. I'd have changed it to something along the lines of:

"I never hesitate with thought - Maybe why I'm making my mistakes . .
I'd unleash my fury upon the masses . . But I hate partaking in debates."

That was off the top of my head, you can surely improve upon it. I want you to learn not to sacrifice content for any grammatical device - be it rhyme, flow, wordplay, etc.

You started to get a bit more on track in the second-half of the piece . Still, you have some incessant words and phrases that throw off the content. .

Not necessarily bad writing, just bad decision-making . You ought to drop at least three to four Open Mics a week; as a matter of fact, as many as possible. You are starting to build on the foundation and if you take critique righteously, you're going to be the next big thing of Arby. :) don't take it to heart, I want you to improve and you'll do so . Write more!

WOW

Impressive.............Potient SICK SHIT IT WAS BLAZIN

Yeah this peice was good, it was a good read i thought, your flow was good, you content was good aslo, your vocab was good as well, overall id say this peice was good, keep dropping.

yea hot shit, i get wut im not supposed to get in a way i dont really understand, i hope i didnt loose you lol....repp aNb rite boy an keep that commin out

didnt even know you was IJL.. whattup

aight like they all said this was good, flow vocab both off the hook... i did an OM kinda like this...

overall all great drop.. keep it up
IJL Bitch!

The one i did thats kinda like this
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81616

this one needs upping, if you would be so kind
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81665