Lies inside Truth(incomplete, puttin into a song)
 

Intro:
It seems countries,full of poverty
Rulers,needing all such soverignity/
Wise Proverbs, express what we need/
To blind to see, /
slowin down with a lil hit of speed./
Maybe...I'm lost, my mind can't be found/
I wanna be heard,but when I speak,out comes no sound/
I lost my sanity, My thoughts in revolution/
New Ideas hated, similiar to Darwin and Evolution/
I lost my body, My mind lost control/
Enter:Nervous System,sending impulses,to look for my soul/

My Brain trapped in my skull,what lies underneath/
Is my spinal cord, sending messages needed in me/
Even as I type now, my nervous system is in effect/
To quick to regret, But new ideas are quick to reject/
I must've lost what little sanity, I thought I once had/
I've been lost and had no pity,'till I entered God's Land/
I'm emotional, And I seem to let my emotions get a hold/
Of my body, my thoughts, what comes out if I spoke/
Simple enough for lamemens term to understand it/
But complex enough, to make you think about,leave you stranded/
My thoughts enter my mind, my brain is to comprehend/
seperates good and bad thoughts, meant for enemies or for friends/

and thats where I stopped...looking for any criticism or helpful tips. Feedback please!

aight here we go

the flow was off at times
the vocab was well above par (good vocab)
multis lacked... i like multis... let me know when part 2 come out

if you would be so kind
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=81665

this was a alright peice i thought, decent read, your flow could have been better it was off at some points, your vocab was very nice i liked that, could have used some more multies, but overall it was a good peice, keep dropping.

Eh,
This was a decent drop,i'll give you props for this piece.Bars were a little short at times,which really caused your flow to be off.You need some multis,metties and vocab.But it was a tough topic i give you props for trying...
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