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-   -   ~Doctors Day...~ (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=82012)

~ProPaiN~ 09-27-03 02:28 AM

~Doctors Day...~
 
Some quickish shit ...peep


I Woke Up This Morning, Had An Appointment::
I Had To See A Doctor, For Employment::
It Was At 10, My Clock Read 10:30::
So I Hopped In The Shower And Ran Out In A Hurry::
Finally Got There, Tha Clerk Said "Dont Worry,::
If Ya Name Is Pro, Then Your Ten Minutes Early"::
So I Took A Seat, Feelin-Nervous::
Looked Up At The Ceiling Askin 'Is It Even Worth-It?::
My Heart Was Racing, Im Tryin To Have Patiance::
So I Decided To Start Sedation With Conversation::
Without Hesitation, I Went To The Booth::
I Saw A Sexy Nurse, So I Introduced::
Smoothly I Began..."Excuse Me..::
Havent I Seen You Before In A Movie?"::
She Replied, "You Seem Nice From The Sound...::
But Unfortunately, The Doc Would Like To See You Now,::
Proceed To Room Number 4"::
I Said 'Jus My Luck' As I Walked Threw The Door::
I Sat Down, Onto-Tha-Bed::
Exspecting The Worst As Thoughts Gone-Threw-My-Head::
My Perceptions, Im Starting To Lose::
Essentials Get Lost As The Doc Enters The Room::
She Sits Down And Begins To Write::
Asking Me Questions Of Through-out My Life::
All Of A Sudden, She Stops And She Asks::
"Have You Ever Had A Catscan In Tha Past?"::
I Said "Nah, Why? Is This Fatal?"::
She Replied While Laying The Papers On The Table::
"These Tests Just Might Not Be Right..::
But miss You Too Nice, Seek Professional Advice"::
She Brought In Another Doctor::
Said "Hello Pro, Im Tammy, I Got Something To Offer"::
I Asked "How Am I Supposed To React To That?"::
She Said "Relax, Im Just Goin To State The Facts..::
I Got News You Might Not Be Able To Deal With::
You Suffer From A Severe Illness Called Brilliance ."::......... Word!

Critics....
RESP

Mr.Christensen 09-27-03 02:33 AM

LOL way to make yourself look good
this was funny and nice... flow was on point
vocab was well used...
damn IJL is the shit huh?

Its That Simple

Dirty Sally 09-27-03 02:36 AM

Lol. Very clever. There's a nice flow to it. You had the multies in there, it's a nice drop. And what you lacked in wordplay you more than made up for in flow.

WORD~PERFECT 09-27-03 02:36 AM

I LIKKED THIS VERY WELL SET UP KEEPS THE ATTENTION AT ALL TIMES AND THE COCLUSION WAS DIF THEN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.YOUR VOCAB WAS OFF THE HOOK AND THE RYTHM WAS THERE...THIS IS ONE OF MY FAV ON THIS SITE ACTUALLY .THIS WAS THAT WELL DONE TO ME.

~ProPaiN~ 09-27-03 02:37 AM

LOOOLL^^^^^

IJL is the SHIZNIT.....NO doubt...lol


we should do a collabo

Hit me up on aim MCpropAIN

Menik 09-27-03 02:45 AM

Yeah this peice was good i thought, it was a good read, you had good flow, your multies were pretty good also, and it was funny so it made it a good read overall, keep dropping.

8-off 09-27-03 03:05 AM

lmao, nice ass drop, flow was on point wordplay was dope, and the endin was 'brilliant'

keep up da good shit homey

tRiPliCiTy 09-27-03 03:34 PM

"You Suffer From A Severe Illness Called Brilliance ."::......... Word!" bahhhahaha dope ending

bah i dunno, flow was alrite, content
was decent, but i can see u can do
better, stop holding urself back, this
was an alrite story piece, next time
spit on a topic, this seemed kinda
random, but the ending was dope
so i'll let u off with a warning........

gotaloveforrap 09-27-03 04:23 PM

i was feelin that. cant go wrong makin urself look great. the vocab was great, the worplay was good, the topic was also good. the flow was on target, and i really liked that. good laughs, anywho id rate it a 7.5-8/10. good post man, i really enjoyed readin that.

peace.....

Topic 09-27-03 04:24 PM

lol i liked this peice, good vocab, good flow and the ending was great, good shit, good content to

~ProPaiN~ 09-30-03 03:39 AM

Thanks..............RESP


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