take offense
 

DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DO NOT TAKE OFFENSE TO THE FOLLOWING PIECE........THE VIEWS EXPRESSED ARE THOSE OF THE WRITER AND ARE NOT THE...........FUCK IT WHO CARES...........


i GOT pressure on my skull and weight on my BACK
smoke POT and refuse to lie down or speak with TACT
what type of shit do you somehow manage to ATTRACT
these faggots watch my BACK and THAT is a FACT
apparently ya'll feel there is some thing I LACK
the only BUDS i got came when i purchased a SACK
your missile is a DUD far from being ready for live CONTACT
so fuck a deal what do i need with a RAP CONTRACT?
i'm busy right now wiping the MAT with IRAQ
don't believe me? check my REAL TIME STATS
this ACT makes it hard, to make you, FEEL I'M BLACK
so with infinite SKILL i move with stealth and then ATTACK
and with and ILL WILL i devour emcees like a scooby SNACK

i don't like you and you don't like me
you don't want beef so just please let it be(4x)

style switch*
let me hold down the fort playing with a dead corpse
i've had paranoid thoughts of murdering steve forbes
a schizophrenic android on steroids with an affinity for morgues
so i'd suggest repenting ya sins and praying to the lord
cuz right now i'm more dangerous then minivans made by ford
i'll strangle you until it lacerates you and then lick the cord
you say to live by the gun i say die by my sword
half the bullshit i say is cuz i'm broke lonely and bored
also the reason i bore holes in the sides of my gourd
MUTHAFUCK BOTH YOU AND YOURS
change hip hop please i'm better off changing my sex
dropping a metal album and then say who's next
finally got my fucking head on straight by severing my neck
i rap to piss you off fuck trying to collect a check

i don't like you and you don't like me
you don't want beef so just please let it be(4x)

just fucking around ya'll

Okay Okay

...

DO NOT cap the words you want to stand out...ie..the rhymes...its unneccessary...

Your topic could've been original..but seemed like BLAH, As soon as i saw...I smoke pot...I hated it allready...just another internet thug instead of a writer

Try to aim to be a writer...writing with meaning

Good start to rb anyway... :)

not bad but need refienment

i thought the post was ok. im wit pot1ent though, the pot line may have supposed to be the start, but it finished it for me. i thought the wordplay and vocab were pretty good, the topic was a little played, and the content was ok. overall u did pretty good, just keep workin at it, and ull elevate. good luck.

peace.....

they'll never be happy...........not trying to be a thug..........weed is universal..........and the topic was kinda poking fun at people who think that they are controversial..........thus the intro........thank you for the feedback...........guess i'll just have to elevate a whole lot more................upping

uppin.........gaaaaangsta....just kidding.....you know i luv ya'll..........

yo i wasnt at all feelin this. You really didnt have anything that attracted me. Your word play and vocab was straiight but all in all i think you need to elivate....im not hate'n just be honest, 1