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1~1~9 The Third Person
As I traveled through the unraveled gravel-
the world would collapse this was BIN LADINS FIRST mantel. Then I saw a blaze of glazed illuminating light- fallowed and saw a man holding to his life tight- he was loosing the fight. Next to him a stub from an airline number typed- the same flight- I was to take that morning after I flash back to a flash front of midnight. Every thing was distorted- after I borded- or was it after the turbulence was reported? oh well right now this man was what was important. He was seconds from godly~ oddly~ his body smelled contorted. He yelling god end the torment. Now for a strange reason. I can remember words spoken in Arabic. Trying to focus on it-bit was blinded ….. at My attempt to touch him… I felt no temp…….. Wondering~ pondering repeated events- but just then….. he’d deep breath~ dry heave~and bleed He was tattered-clothes scattered-talking with no subject matter. Burned and sliced open, hopen to stay alive- but how could he of survived- with his exposed blatter. Tattoos matched mine his words sounded like ive herd them before- Was it dejavu or something more. Saw his wallet from his pocket- Inside there was a LOCKET ,scripture with my daughters picture. did this man rob me? Ignorance is bliss I missed the hint I didn’t want to see. Then I Saw a redness in the skies. twin towers demised.in rewind- He Looked at my eyes… apologized- before he died, but what I didn’t realize was the disquise My hands faded then I cried- his eyes were dry. how was he dead and asking god why? then I saw the deceased was I. And he was me… laying physically …I spiritually. by my side the whole time I was hypnotized- this is my life going by. But the past was presented by the future this was the second I’d flat line.HOW IT unwind. Of how an angel fell- the light was heaven taking me from the flames of babel- The tower in the center of hell |
wow...that was deep. the theme was original and it had a very good storyline. And it was floetic. that must have been what it was like to be on one of the planes that crashed the twin towers. It was deep. =) keep it up.
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UPPIN THNKS MAMI
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wow holmes, u ripped that shit, u could tell u put alot of emotion in that, the topic was pretty original, like always u had good vocab and worplay, and of course it had a good flow. it made for a good read, keep postin dude i was feelin that.
yo can u check out my latest open mice..... http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82558 thanx and in like a few days if ur still interested ill hit u up wit that collab. peace.... |
UPPIN FOR A SLEPT ON PEACE WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MY BATTLE SHIT GETS READ EASY BUT MY REAL SHIT GETS IGNORED????
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UPPIN
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this is bein slept on and its ill, nice piece god, tight originality, very nice wordplay,very nice vocab,tight structure,very nice rhyme scheme,over all very nice piece,needs more replys,uppin for ya^^^..~1~
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Yeah this was a good piece, a good read as well, your flow was good through out the piece, you had good wordplay as well as good vocab, and your content was good, overall good piece, keep dropping.
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god dam fam... you killed it, flow was choppy in some places, but shit was deep as fuck, i saw you building up to the conclusion you were looking at yourself like half way thru, mainly with the tattoo an' the locket.. but i wasn't sure where u were going with it until the end, so you built up suspense nicely... i gotta say this was one of u'r better drops although i ain't been on in a while... but yo, ... peace bro... 1
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although i think this piece wasnt really original....cuz i seen it done many times....the rest of it was solid...good flow, wordplay...i like the whole locket and tat thing...especially if u actually have a daughter...i woulda liked to see the same type of story with a different event though...but overall this was good
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Quote:
^feeling what he said hot piece bro i think u put alot of effort into this n it came out good keep doin ya thing u got madd talent *1* |
THNKS
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flow was a lil off but depends on tha spitter probly ok when u spit it,felt the inner message here and it was some deep stuff with an interesting and nicely written topic,afew lines which i didn't think rhymed but ur usual vocab was present with multies incorporated also left a lil tension and had me wondering until tha end.Good shit.
Peace Peace |
THNK U THIS WAS A TRACK I REALLY P[UT THOUGHT IN
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