Free water
 

I am the water
I have been spawned from cirrocumulus
My small frame dripples from mountains
I have learnt to navigate past rocks
I am still young
I meet new friends
They join in my adventure
We grow large in our numbers
We have now entered ground level
We storm past rocks; thundering
Animals attack us, I lost many friends
Almost lost myself
Im matured now
I found a pretty leaf, we're getting married
Im whisking her away in my arms; I hold all her
Our marrage fails
The leaf dumped for some soil
Im going to the border now
Where I can fall
Free from mortal life
I stretch my arms
And start all over again

cirrocumulus
^ what does that mean?

i looked it up in my online dictionary and it wasnt in there lol

sorry but that line threw me off

HOWEVER
I found a pretty leaf, we're getting married
^ that stuck with your whole NATURE theme and the similie was great because you could have easily blew the nature theme if by chance you had said:

I found a pretty GIRL, we're getting married


short nice peice topic fit well

nice job

isnt cirrocumulus a type of cloud...hope that cleared things...

please reply to other members of the board because this
is getting slept on because of this possibly...

I meet new friends
They join in my adventure
We grow large in our numbers
We have now entered ground level
We storm past rocks; thundering
Animals attack us, I lost many friends
Almost lost myself

I dont know what to call this but the first three lines
I can relate to for real...many people were fronted on
and really dont know my friends or how I really am....
results of playing roles for certain people and wasting
years and productive time....

this would be good..read very very slow...in front of lots
of people with some addlibbing about every five lines or
so just asking the people questions in between....
not my favorite type of poem but I hear things like this
on open mic nights....well done

la paz

iight

this was simple, yet it had a different look towards things, simple everyday things. things we see every day but dont think twice about, such as water and its journeys, the places its been, ect.
and it also is a unique piece, by the way you took things in, the strongest part there was the leaf and the water getting married and it failing, because it dripped off to the dirt, very unique i liked it

~Tera~
DONT HATE

Its simple, ....but the inner meanings were deep, u expained well , some personal aspects...and i liked readin this, ....it shows, words dont make everything...real nice drop props :)