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Dark Overcast
Some Weird Shit Happend To Me...
Listen Up.... Walkin' Down The Street Freein' Realizin I'm Dope At Last// The Evil Takes A Deep Move, Sunny Skies Quickly Turn To Overcasts// Strollin' Past The Corner Store, I Look Up, And All I See Is Black// Crackheads Lurkin' Trippin Out.....An Anorexic Junky Screams " I'm Tired Of Being Fat"// It Was To My Observation This Dude Weighed Less Than 150// What Happened To These Streets.....Good Thing I Brought My Gun With Me// The Crisp Air Was Frigid....The Fowl Smell Of Rotting Corpses// An Image Appears To Be Standing In The Shadow, But Was Kinda Distorted// So I Bow My Head To The Ground......I Start Walking At A Faster Pace// My Legs Are Moving Fast, But I’m Slowing Down, Like I Was Lapped In Race// The Image Portrays Color Now.....Some Guy With An Ugly Brow// I Got My Glock Cocked, So I Hope This Dude Ain’t Trying To Mug Me Now// He’s Suited With A Trench Coat, I Guess To Protect Him If The Wind Blows// But This Fucker Had Shorts On At 20•F, So Why Weren’t His Shins Cold// I Realized Somethin’ Was Funny About This Situation, My Heart Started Racin’// My Fingers Were Numb From Freezing Temps., So I Concluded Not To Break Him// I Pass 32nd Street......Reach In My Boot And Grab My Second Heat// I’m Ready To Split Him Like Machetti’s, He Takes A Step Im’a Wreck This G// Wreck-Less-Ly, I Look Back And This Cat Disappeared// I Suddenly Stop, Grab My Glock, And Shout Out, “Where Are You Mister Queer?”// Now This Appears....And By This, I Mean The Devil// He Came Straight Out The Pavement, And Now The Gorund Wasn’t Level// So I Start To Burst My Heat, Trying Not To Hurt Defeat// I Remained Calm As Possible Rockin’ This Fool In The Street// I Saw The Hollows Didn’t Penetrate, Now My Heart PacedAt A Different Rate// I Don’t Mean Black Folks, But Soul Was The Food That This Sinner Ate// I Duck Behind A Dumpster, Hopin He Wouldn’t Find My Existence// But I Forgot He Would Smell The Stench From My Pants That I Had Pissed In// I look Around The Corner And His Hot Breath Was In My Face// I Could See He Was Seekin’ My Soul, He Grabbed Ahold Trying To Put Me In My Place// The Place Of Flames, Erase Thee Game, No More Livin In The Matrix// But I Break Free To Run, Convincin Myself I’m Going To Make It// I Was Feelin Naked, Even With 3 Layers Of Clothes// Run By 35th, And Realized The Fair Was Closed// So I Lept The Fence, The Devil Let Himself In// And With A Snap Of His Fingers To The Wall I Find Myself Pinned// He Claims He Wants My Soul, So He Grabs Ahold Of My Chest// Then I Realized My Advantage, With Words, I Was The Bold And Best// I Screamed Devil I Challenge You Fool......A Lyrical Battle// And You Better Pray To God When I’m In The Midst To Attack You// And Just Like That It Was Over, i Had The Grace Of God In My Sentences// The Sins Of The Devil Escaped......I Guess They Longed To Be Repented Then// That’s The End Of My Story...... |
Okay, everything here was on point...I like the fact that you told a story and described things vividly. Not a lot of wordplay but I see potential so it's cool.
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bah?!?!?? this wasnt all that great
i mean a story piece, which went back and forth, u need more practice and the flow was off 90% of the time your lines were too long and really fucked up the flow............................ decent topic terrible content............... work on yourself.this was 4.9/10 return the favor http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82195 |
^^^shut the fuck up u fat paki, at least he doesnt bite his damn verses so u have no room to be critizing other peoples work, but anywho, ur flow fell off a little durin the post, and to change that i suggest u shorten up ur lines a little, the wordplay and vocab were ok, try and include some multis in ur verse next time though, that was pretty good for a newb, keep postin homie, u have potential
yo can u please return the favor wit my post http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82558 thanx peace..... |
This was a alright peice, a decent read, your flow was ok a little shakey at some points, you might wanna add some multies, shorter lines and try to keep them the same length about, and your wordplay was alright, and your vocab seemed ok, overall it was a good peice, keep dropping, and if you get a chance check out one of my peices, much appreciated, thanks.
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You dropped a pretty decent rhyme right here. your word play was straiight, content was good but try and shorten up your rhymes into shorter bars. The worst thing is reading something that seems to go ON and ON and ON. All in all good drop,keep elivate'n and doin your thing, 1
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Quote:
listen no skilled netcee, if u got any problems PM me dont fuckin spam everywhere i post ok, NOW LISTEN UP AND LISTEN GOOD u sayin i bite? but none of uz have any proof? further more you are a fuckin herb? and cam is a homo for starting the thread that faggot only wanted some more posts.............and all this net career u talkin about is just useless, i bit? where from, please please tell me, which song was it? oh please tell me fuck wit! exactly there isnt one............................ |
Will U Little Bitches Quit Arguing??? Please.......God Dayum.....That Is Exactly WHy I Hate Herbs.....
Pz. |
Werd^....But yea...I read this before...But didn't have time to reply...LoL...I already told you that...But this was a nice drop...Long time since I seen sumthin' from you...Good to see you back on here...Keep elevatin' man...Peace
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