let me just begin
 

Ok really im not used to this text MCing stuff and im not yet sure how much cred i give it....

But, I will give this a shot and hopefully it's alright...

Kick Kick Snare Snare
Kick Kick Snare Snare
Tech Tech Flare Flare
Tech Tech Flare Flare
Better Beware
My Mike If You Dare
Attempt To Bear
On My Battle Lair
It’s Overtly Unfair
But I Don’t Care

The Whack I Won’t Spare
Now Check Da Horn Blare
My What The Fuck Stare
About To Take You There

Pull Up A Chair
Skills Are So Rare
Think I Overbear?
I’ve Yet To Tear
I Will Impair
Beyond Repair
Secrets To Share
Might Even Scare
Off Your Leg Hair
Like I Was Nair

This I Will Swear
To Eat You Like A Pear
That’s How You’ll Fare
Against An LL Heir



Keep It Tight Tight
Keep It Tight Tight
All All Night Night
All All Night Night
Never Respite
Always Have Fight
I Do Not Quite
Ever Reach My Height
C-Dots A Sight
Fly As A Kite

No Mercy For Your Plight
Just Pain For Those Who Bite
Comin’ Down Wit All My Might
Cause That Shit Just Ain’t Right

When I Take Flight
To My Delight
My Wife Sees A Knight
Shining In White
Not Out Of Spite
Your Just A Wee Mite
To All I Invite
Witness Despite
Their Growing Fright
Destruction Like Blight

From up above Like Stalactite
From down below Like Stalagmite
Riddims Are Bumpin Tonight
So Gimme Da Dro And Pass The Light

So yea that's what i got for now please don't hate...
I only want to hear constructive thoughts...:D

errrrr...*stutters*
sorry to say it but this really sucked
the constant rhyming of words just to rhyme didnt really grab me
very simplistic
really basic rhyming and not good...
need to get a better vocab...change up how u rhyme...just rhyming 6 words ending with a life type sound doesnt make it a good read or even rap..
just the way i saw it...keep dropping and u'll imprvoe

^^^word, i wasnt feelin the rhyme scheme at all, try and make ur structure a little more complex next time as well. ima say elevate on ur wordplay, vocab, and try includin some multis in ur verse as well, but i agree wit fgee that didnt make for a good read/rap, but just keep droppin and elevatin and ull get better, u could have potential, but that was to simple of a post to tell, so good luck.

peace.....

well this really isn't in any way intended to be read....

it's meant to be experienced with a phat beat (i.e. kick kick snare snare)... also this is done all very fast... the audible effect is a whole other exp

check thnx for da feedback yalll

C-Dot's checkin out....

this caught me off guard.... wow. Maybe u shouldnt put ur beat in tha song. Save it for audio. Y'know what I mean. That way, we'll understand it more.

one piece per day
read the rules
[closed]