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the wrong interpretation of perfect
bitches runnin on the streets all fake/
they actin a gangsta with all the shit they take/ this whole world is so hypocritical it aint even funny/ people makin everything hollywood like its a comedy/ everything these days are tragedies and so much drama/ but no one likes real they want to be fictitious like everythings perfect/ fuck all you that try to be perfect that cannot protect what they per-fect/ cause problems intersect and interfere with what you wanna do/ this shit just makes your whole life all screwed/ all you do is get booed cause you just lossed/ you criss crossed the wrong track with too much of a cost/ you wasted all the shit you had by trying to fix but your life is all mixed/ you get all pissed and get banned on the list like everything you wanted you missed/ youd rather make a commit to slit yo wrist and getting punched by a fist/ you feel so mad that you harm yourself and forget your life/ youd rather threat yoself with a knife/ you standin there all night long thinkin what you gonna do next/ do i do it or write this in text or just end up all confused and refuse to kill yoself cause you know its wrong/ you gotta stay strong and beat all that you can take/ its all over now its time to relax / your up in the clouds lookin over as you have past/ |
kinda simple man...
feeling your topic, liked the concept... but I wasn't feeling the flow that much, it was kinda on and off... some parts flowed better than others... you could add stronger vocab here... I thought it was aight... -1- |
Yeah, this was real simple, short and to the point, i didnt really like the topic, its a little played to be honest and been done many a time before, flow was there for the most part, it got a lottle choppy towards the body of the verse but not too much, vocab could of been a little better, id of prefered more structure in the rhyme scheme rather than just the externals rhyming but it wasnt too bad.
Eace-Pay! |
uppin for more critiquing here
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simple piece right here...coulda used better vocab and flow....lackin a bit of originality....i dont like how u went off on the lines and just rhymed the words at the end...a little more creativity should do some good...
feedback on this http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=82853 |
i agee wit them homies /\ /\ /\ /\ /\ /\
u couda got crasier this topic is ku but i feel no anger coming from u or anything for that matter good shit though |
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