[Wk1] IC: Hi My Name Is vs Ray Zor
 

a yo... are ya still spittin here?
well i got my shit done in study hall...
probably postin later 2night

Approach so called freedom face-to-face,
Come to the conclusion that U.S. ain't-the-place,
If i considered it free...i'd have nothin to say,
Not a breath in my life comes in a promisin way...
uh...
I usta run shows down at the strip,
Where grown man wit money would clown the tricks,
It was the hot spot...some underage gals,
You'd be clueless the way they shake round-n-round,
I had some daily customers...ordinary people,
Even some lawyers...others like fire n policemen,
The thing was...he had an eye on me but kept it secret,
We usta be good friends...i told him what i'm about,
Then weeks later i found out he's the 1 who ratted me out...

That bitch, if it wasn't fo him i wouldn't sport the orange slacks,
I'd burn the fuckers, but it's the only thing that got my back,
My friends, family...turned on me soon,
"I'll get you outta this"...all promise are broken too,
Fuck em all...especially that damn judge,
He sentenced me fo life...now i'm waitin fo death to come,
These cuffs gon' be released...but me be free?
If that's what u consider gettin hit wit high voltage electricity,
Finally.... i have reached my final destination,
No worries wit this last breath i'm takin...

To my suprise i sniffed the air as i awoke,
The aroma was fresh...the clouds fluttered like smoke,
The image was iffy...but man it feels good,
What happened...what happened to me...that ol crook?
Who cares...i'm think i'm dead but unsure,
I'm breathein freely and fo once i feel pure,
You can't see me...but see this son,
America ain't free...my death has insured this 1

I Spent Yesterday With My Son..
Then I Had To Work Later..
I Was Busy As Shit Yesterday At Work Until 3 Am..

Sorry About That Shit ..

I Hope Its Ok If I Just Drop Somethin Small ..

So we can still get some votes on this..

It Wont Happen Again Mods..

I Keyed Up 8 Lines.

Checking In Are Husbands , Fathers, Wives And Daughters..
Enemy Never Bothered, Line Them Up To Be Slaughtered..
Materialistic Dreams, War Is The Glorified Version Of Screams..
Nothing Is As It Seems, Realizing The Horrific Sights Been Seen..
A Young Soldier Fighting For Countries Rights And Expression.
Running, Then Half Steppin', Realizing That All Gifts Are Blessings..
War Of Heathen, Fight And Die For Everything Worth Acheivin'..
He Died For His Country, With His Last Breath of Freedom..

Again My Greatest Apologies.

hi my name is won...
had a nice verse...well told story about a man on death row..
coulda been a bit more original but it was still nice to read
flow etc was cool

ray zor obviously rushed it and unless he wrote the best 8 lines ever he didnt have much chance of winning...still at least u wrote something

vote hi my name is..

Hi My Name Is- well, this wasn't a great verse. Your take wasn't original, because the topic obviously relates to prison, so it woulda been cool if you flipped it. You had very little wordplay and flow, and your multies were nearly non-existant. Your really need to elevate. The best part was the storytelling aspect of the whole thing, it was really nice, because you told it from the man's perspective, which was cool. Work on everything else though.

Ray Zor- This would have been dope as fuck if it was longer. You had really good wordplay, and the vocab was nice. You just really need to try to write a full verse next time. 8 lines can't compete against 20, you dig?

vote-Hi My Name Is

Hi my name is <my vote

avrage flow...barley any multis...concept played...but u held well...the view of the spit was nice...u need elevation..but u held ur self up this week...ray u need to come longer nice verse good word play n flow..but u need a longer verse...cant match up to 100 lines with 10...same as in ur case..just next time come longer...

Hi My Name Is [1-0]
Ray Zor [0-1]

Good luck next week.