[Wk1] IC: King Of Theives vs Feeble Minded
 

damn...you got me and my joint leader of my crew battlin' each other now...what is this world commin' to?????? lol...anywayz...check check in...

checkin in..
this league will be the downfall of my record...lmao..
now go. hoe.

I command respect...and I demand that you listen...
I say stand erect...as all my soldierz stand at attention...
hand on ya head...and keep ya other hand at a distance...
I plan to be dead...because I'm living on a planet of hitmen...
we planned to be rich men...but we finally figured out...
that when in doubt...you can never trust the hand of ya henchmen...
insanity'z written...let us now pay homage to the white man and his lynchin'z...(fuck that)
once again for the men whose standing in prison...
as he passez out cigarettes he is handing addiction...
respect to the fallen soldierz and those in boot camp...
also those in the ghetto'z lightin' they house with crude lamps...
while grocery shopping with food stamps...
much reaspect due to single motherz workin' 2 jobz to barely survive...
those who are very deprived of health but still keep acting very alive..
as I look through the muralz of music visualizing a painted picture...
I start to "salute" those mentioned in the gayest topic in Sacred Scriptures...


this topic was wack...lol...I ain't feelin' it at all...

everyone hates them, we're at war now, just guess..
yes.. your correct, if u said we're fighting the french...
cannons blasting, my soldiers at a level of wary alarm
gets both legs blown off - now he's just bearing arms
carried charms, lost in the big battle, blood all around
but he fights for the queen, in reality carries her crown
dark, damp, break of dawn - soon fighting will cease
making signs, drops three fingers - at the sighting of peace
delighted to be, here instead of recruited as secret police
^me & him'd have something in common.. both killin theives!
not what its meant to be.. his divisions leaving forever
violence ending, not now, but seemingly never..
but its this soldiers turn to pack up, go home, back to his roots
he turns to the train.. and gives the french a one finger salute!

ok King it seemed u really didnt even try. Rhyme scheme was sorta off just wasnt really feeling that piece..

Feeble...i liked yours short and sweet. well told and the twist at the end finished the deal..

vote-Feeble

yeh my sentiments exactly...
kings was alright but didnt really take any direction and the ending just ended any chance of winning...
feeble...for a short piece it was quite good....some wordplay in there and some humour managed to overcome KOT

yeah...I hated this topic with a passion...I hope I get a better one next round...with more than one word...

^quote from theives in the omens crew thread...

what was that? lmao.

Simple Breakdown..

Opener - Feeble.. got right to the point
Metaphores - KOT.. feeble was very general here
Depth - Feeble.. kot had the potential but did cease it
Vocab - KOT.. niether really but hey
Wordplay - KOT.. like i said, feeble was very general
Imagery - Feeble.. yep
Creativity - Feeble.. got into it more
Finisher - KOT.. lol just cuz i liked the damn finisher (is that so wrong?)

Overall - Feeble

Hit This Up.. Its Bein Slept On N' Shit
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...?threadid=82814

uppin. vote hoes.....

did I lose yet??????
damn...y'allz are still in the voting process...
just gimme the damn lose already so we can move on...

Febble Minded's piece was original to me. The technical elements weren't outstanding, but it didn't muck it up either.
The "flow" of KOT's was... just not there for me. Really bad, it showed you never "got into" the topic at all. You had some good lines that could stand in a more integrated verse, but this was... obviously unpolished. And, yeah, the finisher obviously destroyed you. Whereas FM's finisher was nice.

Vote-Feeble Minded

KOT went belly up on this.
King- Your verse had some okay wordplay, and an okay scheme , but you went for the most obvious concept with the topic. Theres really not much to comment on, because I know you're better than this. I laughed my ass off at the last line, I'll give you a better topic next week.
=)

Feeble- Yours was great. I thought it was hilarious. Good god, my sense of humour is morbid and this satisfied it completely. I loved the Bearing arms line, I quoted you to like 10 people on AIM. great work man, you owned this.

vote-Feeble Minded

my vote is feeble because he was more on the topic and had the wordplay and thievz was confused but wasnt that bad

vote = feeble