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-   -   [Wk1] IC: Camarac vs Bribeone (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=82822)

Maven 09-30-03 11:33 PM

[Wk1] IC: Camarac vs Bribeone
 
Week One :

Verses Due: Friday, October 3rd
Voting Ends: Tuesday, October 7th


Topic:Closing Time

Baron Mynd 10-01-03 07:45 AM

Again?
Weird. .

K.Largo 10-01-03 10:15 AM

:mad: again?....errrgh.....

Baron Mynd 10-02-03 08:42 PM

Woah! I really got into this topic actually, emotionally and indepth wise, id say this is some of my best stuff to date, i just caught onto the topic dope and started writing, if you dont understand my take on this or dont get the inner meaning ive placed behind, dont vote, cause i really got into this piece. .

Closing Time

the Letters fade as i Question Fate w/ these Hands of nothing
Because you'll Fall for anything unless you Stand for something. .

Walking with Heart On Sleeve, The Darkness Bleeds My Arteries
Finding it Hard To Breath, As the Silence becomes a Part Of Me.
Mind Embarked Between, Yet Another Life full of Love and Spite,
Minds Agnostic sent to Defrag Logic Embodied in Anothers Plight
Covered Light spectacles, Fading memory, Saving energy Linked
I stand Nursing Wounds for the Cursed and Doomed's Last Wish.
Practice makes Perfect, the Hate In Me Blatantly States the Truth
So i Save the Wisdom Tooth for Glistened Truth, a Sailors Salute.
the Irrelevence, Never Is, in retrospective what it First Seems To,
be Beneath the Surface in a Bleeding Skirmish of ur Dreams Blue.
the Shattered potrait Remains now a Tattered Poor Mans Frame,
Gatherin Storming Prostate from the Embers of Fortunes Domain.
Distorting the Game with a Poetic Mind State, Feeling the Venom
the Seemingly Patient grow Exceedingly Anxious, i Seem Jealous.
My Fears Precious, & Wrapped tightly Inside, a Blanket of Knives,
Trapped Beside Gods picket sign, w/ no more Thank than for Life.
Blank when i Write, & Uniquely Creative when speakin thru Pages
Labyrinths Cease in Amazement, Reach from Streets n Pavements
to Meet and Play with, my Inner Self on the Sinners Shelf beacon,
Awaken from Slumber By Mistaken Numbers these Digital Deacon.
Spiritually Seeking the Outside World, our Morning & Night Time,
Sun Rises Till Sun Sets, Our Sum Dies, & Fun Fests my EyeSight.

Man's Creating Prose as i Embrace The Cold and the Black Hearted
Fire Candle Dancers, spired Satchel Snatchers, my Facts Hardened
the Collapse Started with government Figures, picture time for that
Blind to The Fact that Polititions are the Reason our Smiles cracked
Why act the Phatter Your Pocket, is now down to a Matter Of Logic?
Dont the High and Mighty have the Rights To say Moneys no Object?
Its a Touchy Subject to Talk On, Leading Youth to Render the Hatred
But these Corporate Fat Cats, need to Answer back, surrender faces.
The formula Ages. . another Day another Dollor, ive Earnt and Spent
Im cursed in sweat, Minimum Wage is low, The whole purpose went.
Surplus Tents harbour my thoughts, the corps. just Froze my Mind,
Wrong place, wrong time. Caught in the line, and its Closing Time. .

K.Largo 10-03-03 12:32 AM

started out a brain plan, set out in order by a mind child.
seeding thought where the grain land, bloomed into denial.
Groomed to defy all, fitted to despise all and tailored for failure.
looked upon as a saviour but my genius could just savour her.
flavor her vanilla cream, to quench the evil screams in hells creek.
Failed to speak but this week I caught a wiff as she streaked.
made my heart weak off beat...her walk throws me back a snare.
the fact we shared same level floor made the quemistry not rare.
I knew it was there,. at night I danced a ballad witt her glanses.
advances were inproper for riping full growing romances.
the fact is,.. she sits for hours for a great conversation she devours.
Towers of flowers washed ashore as this beautiful rose showers.
this great love is ours said a man once with imagination so pure.
till one day my sickness grew old and my infactuation was cured.
together at last its for the better as we passed with hands clenched.
I took the biggest wrench in my sleep and woke with my pants drenched.
whats this?. what have I done?. her body lay sumerged in a tub.
who would have thought a pure fantasy would have emerged into love.
but no i wont sob...She finished fine,. blanket on her going to sleep mine.
opportunity gave me a door and i went in and now its closing time...........




A man was found dead of a gun shot wound to the head. It was an
apparent suicide. It was apparent the victim had received a wound to the head from a wrench which lay at the victims side. He then bathed her in flowers before commiting suicide himself..........

-Magnitude 10-04-03 05:00 PM

Wow, nice battle from both of you, Cam you really got into this & Bribe u definitly have improved alot since your last topical..
Camarac - you came hard, & I know you really felt this topic, the imagery, internals and flow was all there, and well writen..
Bribe - your improving so much everytime you battle heads like Cam, & I see good things coming out of you, just not a win yet..

Cam took this in my opinion because he just took the topic to higher level then Bribe, I mean dont get me wrong, Bribe u came strong, but Cam just had some lines that made me go cross eyed..

Lines that stuck out:

[ Camarac ]

the Letters fade as i Question Fate w/ these Hands of nothing
Because you'll Fall for anything unless you Stand for something. .


[ Bribeone1 ]

the fact is,.. she sits for hours for a great conversation she devours.
Towers of flowers washed ashore as this beautiful rose showers.

Vote - Cam

Great battle to both of you though..

NewPort 10-04-03 06:44 PM

Simple Breakdown..

Opener - Camarac.. much meaning here
Metaphores - Bribe.. not by alot
Depth - Camarac.. not much explainin here
Vocab - Camarac.. yep
Wordplay - Both.. seen it in both pieces
Imagery - Both.. seen it in both
Creativity - Camarac.. in-depthed the shit outta it
Finisher - Cam.. not by a lot here

Overall - Camarac

Hit This Up.. Its Bein Slept On N' Shit
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...?threadid=82814

Evolve 10-07-03 11:26 AM

Vote Cam

I honestly don't think there is anyone on this board that can beat
Cam in a topical match when he actually puts forth a decent
effort... His whole verse was on point as usual... Metaphors &
Wordplay out the ass... Great imagery & very nicely worded to
make it flow smoothly the entire way through....
Bribe yours was decent but i just couldn't get into yours like i did
Cam's... to be honest yours was a little boring... it wasn't bad
but it wasnt better than Cam's

nice battle

Vote Cam

T-Square 10-07-03 12:42 PM

Just as a point, DOES ANYONE STILL FOLLOW BAR LIMITS???????

Cam.... Vurse overall was DOpe, good flow, concept, seemed very natural, probably the best I've seen you
do thus far,
Mind Embarked Between, Yet Another Life full of Love and Spite,
Minds Agnostic sent to Defrag Logic Embodied in Anothers Plight
Covered Light spectacles, Fading memory, Saving energy Linked
I stand Nursing Wounds for the Cursed and Doomed's Last Wish.
Practice makes Perfect, the Hate In Me Blatantly States the Truth
So i Save the Wisdom Tooth for Glistened Truth, a Sailors Salute.///
Really tuned in the picture here, kept the flow and topic strong, overall good structure

Bribe, a somewhat decent vurse, but you did two bars over the minimum, and it didnt seem like you really
tried very hard...
flavor her vanilla cream, to quench the evil screams in hells creek.
Failed to speak but this week I caught a wiff as she streaked.
Vote CAM

::: GO VOTE FAIR ON MY BATTLE< I MEAN FAIR:::

Maven 10-07-03 11:54 PM

Camarac [1-0]
Bribeone1 [0-1]

you won't face each other again, I promise
=)


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