[Wk1] IC: Taktik vs Fgee
 

Wad Up fgee..........................

Checkity Check

in this

i guess growing up wasnt so wierd i was used to it after all
but it wasnt till maturity called that school life hit a brick wall
the teasing made me feel so small...and i couldnt confide in father
he'd rather dress as a clown with a face of eye marker
and scarper after school to go work the late shift duties
while i was a baby-sat groupie trapped in a silence of insecurity
a single dad family tree of impurities...i often wondered why mom left
she dissapeared with my first breath i only know her from picture sets
her essence still tugged at unfamiliar emotions...but i need her now more than ever
school bullies continued to pester and infested my days lectures
taunting my roots with rude gestures i was on miseries playround with hates centre
my world lacked objectors...why couldnt i see through their taunts?
sleep became a parralel of caged haunts eating my conscience till the break of dawn
shakily dressed to rehearse the scorn bags of grief resided under eyes yawns
and yet this was the calm before the storm...abuse was just a bus ride away
but today was different as curiosity wudnt abate i woke slightly late
thoughts played on my mind and inclined to plot answers escape
dressed in haste... and awaited father to return from his night work
i planned to confront his worth and get a straight answer with no diverse
and uncover the rumour searched for truth circulating my earth
................................footsteps......... ...................
the door opened hinging my surprise appearance with a wince
i tried to make up his expression but smeared face paint flinched
'why are u here ?' he said turning pink with a wig of lies
i began to cry....'the kids are teasing me about u and i wanna know why!!!!!!'
...............................deep sigh.............................
'son i'm not your average dad'....and he revealed his secret
hours of chatter....and he asked 'Will u keep it?'
i couldnt face this deceiver...wheres mom when i need her????
all had become clearer but fogged my thoughts...a break through of sorts...bullies reasons endorsed...i had a trans-parent!!!!

i always wondered why he kept a wardrobe of mommies clothes and some wigs in his room....

LMAO^^^^^

Lets go.....

Pressure render me lost, mentality dazed in terms of state........
Express views? Clarity of morals and truth, turned opaque.......
I turned away, chose the untravelled path, enacted a fool.......
Building up my Life, but who here is teaching me the tools?.......
And the rules, because I'm lost, trust is such a sparse supply.....
Society hard to comply, I abide yet not without pride sacrificed.......

Gettin' hard to speak, runnin' short on time commodoties......
Sudden rush through arteries...Buy me time? A lottery.........
Throbbing convulsions signal my wrongful indulgments......
From a seed to futures mercy, to my present involvment.......
Life's revolving, never motionless, lights form a silent vortex.....
Every scene now like poetry, good and bad, through my cortex.......
Time to ponder and reflect...this abyss holds no time......
I think about my life, and how the many tainted souls derieved......
The infectious viruses, branch deep, alter the poetic senses.......
Causing lack of advancement, weaping artist dies tragic......
The many souls lost as I, between reality and this......
With yet only a taste of bliss, left only with Freedom's sweet kiss.......


Just as I awake to the feeling of my soul's fulfilled unity......
I'm deprived of it as well, witness to the same life's impurities......
But I remember the utopia, and still stand with soul retreating.........
Is life worth living, if death itself brings sumthing so completing?......
The answer is yes, of course, you live to die, at least the goal.......
Meet the creator and question him on such ignorant roles.......
So as the hour glass is pressed, tho the future isn't apparant.....
It's as if the white light glows, tho eyes closed, my eyelids are transparant.........

Some Votes Please!!!!!!!!

As technicality goes, Taktik probably got the better in this one. Though flow was not an element that jumped out at me, in either verse, Tak's was a more even piece. However, it was a story I never found particularly compelling. For me, it was a "work" read. A very dramatic, sensitive implementation of the topic, but could also be called "tacked-on". The last 8 is by far the best part.

Fgee's verse actually entertained me. It begins with a background and moves into an emotionally involving story, to come full circle in a comical conclusion. It's very showing of Fgee's style. Technically, the writing isn't at an elite level, but there is a good deal of honest emotion integrated in it. It's what potential hinges on. This verse would be better with healthy dashes of wordplay, but as it is, it represents itself well. The topic is an integral part of the piece, which is flipped up, in an albeit textcee move, in a pretty fantastic way. It's nice to get to laugh.

Vote - Fgee

Vote Fgee.... Look, Taktik, you came really good, on Fgee lesser weeks you woulda won easily,
but the whole topic was Flipped by Fgee, the wordplay, storytellin, rhyme scheme, all good, very good...

Fuck, if you want me to really break it down, I will, PM me,

fgee- whoa dude, that was disturbing. And by disturbing I mean funny. Like poke-porn. I wasn't really feeling your flip on the topic. It was funny and all, and you actually managed to capture the little kids pain, but it seemed like too much of a joke to actually grade, you dig? Your wordplay was well done, the line about mommy's death was nice. Fuck am I morbid =)

taktik- wow man, you had a beauty of a verse here. Your bars were phucking ruler straight. Thats crazy! Sand style flow. Unflawed. Your wordplay was really nice, and really abstract, it reminded me of Sage francis. You have none of your own style, it seems = (. I really enjoyed it though, and the incorporation of the topic at the end was nice.

vote-taktik

i like fgees because it shows more on topic and more of transparent. it was creative and had really good flow.
taktic looked like he took words from fgee but not bad.


vote = fgee

Fgee [1-0]
Taktik [0-1]

Good Luck Next Week.