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-   -   ..::..GoT BurNeD::..:: (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=82952)

DiverseSyndicate 10-01-03 06:28 PM

..::..GoT BurNeD::..::
 
/\/\Intro\/\/
~~your special-to-me, i bet-you-cant-see, what u did when u up-and-left-me~~
Ive been searchin-night-and-day, workin-might-be-gay, but its worth-it-to-find-you-babe//

to find you is a challenge, without you im unbalanced, your part of my talent, tired of bein silent//

never once was violent but i was always there, cared for you and i would braid ya hair//

laid you there, feelin excited, my lines i recited, cause i just couldnt fight-it//

now i need you in my world, your my diamond, your my pearl, when i see you my mind swirls//

you shinebright, your my lime-light, your what im thinkin bout when i rhyme-tight//

your my inspiration, you keep me from disintigratin,instigatin my situation, i see now its cause u loved me and wanted to see what i was facin//

so i took u for granted, my only love on this planet, im not a thug but im jammin//

you took care of me when i was ill, so now i feel, since im ill i will fill that gap//

so still i rap, waitin patient for u to return, cant believe i got burned, obviously i still have shit to learn..

DiverseSyndicate 10-01-03 08:07 PM

uppin this TOPICAL piece^^^^^^^^

Menik 10-02-03 02:59 AM

Pretty good piece i thought, it made a nice read, your mutlies were pretty good, and it flowed pretty decent through out the piece, content was good, overall id say it was pretty good. keep dropping.

and if you could return some feedback..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=83050

DiverseSyndicate 10-02-03 06:18 AM

uppin this for some more replies, yall wanted a topical piece and here it is now noone wants to reply j/j.^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

WORD~PERFECT 10-02-03 06:22 AM

it was explemplory of real rhymin this subject never gets old or dies i enjoyed it.it is being slept on but if the right heads read this more will come to appreciate it.

Keys aka Vital 10-02-03 12:14 PM

It was ok, but i feel like right now love-rap's gettin exploited what with fabolous and floetry and ashanti remixes... overall its original,
but i think my biggest beef is the way you wrote it. other than that you did good. flow slipped at times, but all the while it was smooth. Good Goin, keep droppin

DiverseSyndicate 10-02-03 07:47 PM

thanks for tha replies.uppin^^^^^

Inertia 10-02-03 10:07 PM

like everyone else has said it was good...multies were nice but the lines needed more detail...I mean the piece was good in ways and topic stayed consitent throughout...nice job though, dawg....keep droppin...

~1~

DiverseSyndicate 10-02-03 11:01 PM

thanks for the replies, uppin^^^^

DiverseSyndicate 10-07-03 10:01 PM

uppin this one more time.~1~
^^^^^


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