RapVerse.com Community

RapVerse.com Community (http://community.rapverse.com/index.php)
-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   My World (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=83098)

/:Ayura:\ 10-02-03 12:23 PM

My World
 
My room is my world
I live in a spherical cube, A dark light, And open smallness
I sit on top of my forest, where I rest
I cant afford to keep the sea running
I struggle to get to the antartic, where he placed my food
Boys and girls go dating at the cinama
The enlightened extra terrerstrail
Stuffing there heads with propaganda
I glance out my window
And look at the stars waste their energy on sun's products
No care for our space
I look at the carpet
The goverment bacteria hires spiders
to cause riot, and use them as an excuse to close my poetry
My poetry
My pen
Is all I have
My worlds core is made of ink
Volcanoes express my pain
And burn out out my pain
But its time to take flight
I open my chest to the six nuclear bombs
And cause the second big bang

for I am everything, but nothing

HazY.B 10-02-03 12:29 PM

ive read your peices and ive replied and yet i receive no gratitude waht so ever

grrrrrrrr

anyways
moving on

The enlightened extra terrerstrail
Stuffing there heads with propaganda
^ reminded me of ET when he see's teh flower whilting and makes it reblossom

your structure the declinging of the sentences to just two word phrases was a good touch to add to this peice i felt as if your voice was increasing as the amount of words you spoke decreased

was a nice peice and it was good to read at this time in the mornig when nothing seems right
hazy

Menik 10-02-03 04:49 PM

Yeah this was a good poetry piece, i was feeling the meaning to it, it was a good read i thought, you had a lot of deep lines that i was feeling, and overall i thought this was a good piece, keep up the good work.

/:Ayura:\ 10-02-03 07:01 PM

sorry hazy.b imma reply to your poems. thanks for the appreciation, upping this though


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:07 PM.