Lost Love ( Feedback Please)
 

*Lost Love*



Time is slippin fast
but the end is soon to come
I want this to last.
Cuz The feeling inside
It is so much fun

Like drinking liquid,
I'm 'gulppin' so much in
My throat's going to explode
But I don't want no other men.

A thought passes me by
Pacing my mind
Like a lost soul in the wind
My hearts growing
This love within

I want you here
By my side
Come 'floating' in
by the ocean tide.

I don't care
Not anymore
Everyone can kiss my ass
Cuz your mine
Forever more.

My hearts cracking
Every second your away
It is soon going to break
Tommorow
may be today.

Like a game
I'm not even playin
The pieces are 'cheating'
This isn't 'fair'
People are namin

Letter by letter
they are sent in the mail
A love story
or even a fairytale

Like I'm jailled
I'm 'locked' inside
My feelings surrounding me
no way to release myself
I failed.

My eyes are stung
My stomach turning
My hearts pounding
No air in my lungs

People take it wrong
Splitsoul
I wish you wern't gone
Man I love you
Yes I do!
This is taking way too long!



*Lost Love*

again another easy piece to read but this one sounded a bit more like a poem more then a rhyme but I guess it don't really matter but other then that it was an ok drop, stayed on topic and ur content was good, vocab was a bit lacking in this peice and the flow kinda broke off in some parts, but all in all it was an ok drop and for the note ur only allowed one open mic a day so keep that in mind, if u wanna know y read the open mic rules. keep droppin peace.

one thread per day.

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