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dunno but .......
wel this sounded good to me
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^^^someones gettin banned
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okay, okie dokie, Scottys here, and Scotty got girlys every where//
and im gonna steal obies lines while his bodys not here// but what the fuck can he say to me? nothing much, i got no fear// "Always do right, this will gratify some, and astonish the rest// i'll make you fuck you mother while i scream INSEST!!// i dont really understand life, and how i became a son// it makes me sick to think we started as just a little bit of fun// our parents not really giving a fuck how we'd fell, then he cum// and we goaat spend the best years of life trapped by mum// so when the time arrives to go out and live our own lifes// our minds have already been prepared to hold the old up with knifes// now you tell me you want drugs, guns, but you havnt got funds// now ive gotta pay a hit man to puncture your lungs// (you need to pay mother fucker) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ \\ you wanted the drugs but couldnt pay // \\ fuck wit me again, and watch some bullets spray // \\ you never know when, im gonna end your day// \\ lifes jus one big game that well all gotta play // ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ you probably think that my life is fucked up too// because im only 16 years old and get looked up to// and if you dont look up, bitch you gettin fucked up too// cuz i know people that jus love to................................// i dont consided my self a dangeruos or tough guy, i jus dont fear shit// now girl thats how you should feel when you feel sick suckin my dick// im not religious, so dont ever ask me who or what i believe in// cuz i'll pop a shot in your chest, then you'll be leaving// and one of our only missions in life is to keep breathing// or just to fall in love, but that fuckin shits got another meaning// now all i can say, is "Grin when you bare it, its the only day"// living on this earth can be confusing, like FAG meaning GAY// so fuck those who say there is to many drugs on these streets// i think that there are to many people on the streets using the drugs// and our homes and streets will be safer when they lock up the thugs// ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ chourus ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ They say "golf is the most fun you can have without takin your clothes off// i say the best way to get off, is to blow a white mans head off// at least one time in a mans life, hes gonna fall for a girl// but if the bitch dont fall for him back, it could end his world// just look at this page, what do you see?, lyrics of rage// people like you think its pretty fucked up for a person at my age// ive seen and expierienced near enough everything i can now, im grinning// all i wanna stay alive for is to see a set of 20 inch rims spinning// i'd never get out of a confession box alive, for this sinning// and when you get the worst shit out the way, your on your way to winning// "Always do your best, wot you plan now, you will harvest later"// whether your the hater or the instigator, you'll get hit sooner or later// if you fuck wit me, i'll come kidnapp your kid, when you take him to camp// burn down ya tent with your gas lamp, and put the victim in the back wit subs and amp// and if you miss one of my shows, be there for the omnibus// bye bye to the verse, i'll meet yall in the chourus// ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ chourus ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ END |
and why am i gettin banned cuz im a little slow, lol, some feed back please!
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You should have edited ur first post and re-posted the verse there......
Anyways....I thought this piece was weak...its like you were just writing down everything and anything to just get finished in time...and alot of it didnt make sense......other lines had terrible rhyming...e.g. "so when the time arrives to go out and live our own lifes// our minds have already been prepared to hold the old up with knifes//" But thats my honest opinion....keep writing...keep elevating...keep trying [Like I am] and next time just stick to an overall one topic..........its like you got confused half way true and you were jotting down anything that rhymes...thats not what a good verse is...a good verse is something thought out and something with meaning.......And thats just my honest opinion.....PZZ |
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