Bruised Heart
 

Arial red small
I told myself no more heartbreaks
that i wouldnt cry anymore tears
until you came along
and scared away all my fears
but you too were nothing i thought you to be
but i guess thats just how you are
you meant everything to me
but you are the meanest, by far
you gave me up for someone else
someone who once broke your heart
true or false:
she tore your world apart
i'll be okay without you though
your like any other guy
dont forget.. i loved you so
but you were all just one big lie.

hey congrats on your first post.....You put a piece down instead of instigating someone else's nice...

As for the piece..i understood the nature of the poem....the rhyme scheme was a bit fluttered but understandable...keep writing and elevating....

-1-

but you were all just one big lie.



nice ending
the piece is nice not great but not bad
its a good 1st post
i cant say i 2 feel the same way but
i understand where ur coming from

keep posting

Yeah i agree this was a good piece, it made a good read, it flowed pretty well together, i was feeling the meaning of it when i was reading it, you had good content i felt, overall it was a good piece, keep it up.

I think of the same line as the others it was decent and I
think that the main thing to work on is getting some metaphors
or just spicing it up a little bit. When you describe how you feel
you want to make everyone else feel what you are feeling.


"but you are the meanest, by far"

That was the one line I really believe you could have come up
with something better just by reading the rest of it.

"someone who once broke your heart
true or false:"


My favorite, because it has a little play on words there and it brought the piece over well. keep writing