The Life of Mine
 

I think its bout time to tell ya bout tha life of mine
no i dont commit no crime but im striving jus to earn a dime//
I am gonna reminisce
but dont laugh because i want to persist//
My life is based on morality but has had a lot of brutality
but hey, thats mortality//
Don't worry bout me for this might be sentimental
and u might understand if our happenings are coincidental//
I live in a single roomed house
with a one cushioned couch//
Theres no one to have a conversation
my neighborhood theres a lot of interdiction
where theres always some kind of restriction//
The streets are filled with wankstas
and ya cant forget the wannabe gangstas//
the police are all racist
makes ya wanna say get down and suck this//
but if ya say a bad line
they'll grab a bullet and end your time//
that's exactly how my dad died
the only thing he said was, your gonna get fucked up and fry//
You can't be too judgemental though
'specially if you see someone with a rental hoe//
Tha chicks here they come they go
and not none of 'em are too slow
and hell no, im not mocking the Eminem show//
This is my life im tryin to tell you about
if you lived here you'd be scared to even pout//
This is a brief decription of tha life that I live,
yea I am wanting to go big even though I got one small crib//
It'll happen soon dont be a hater,
all i can say now is, see ya later.

Someone give me some feedback plz. Thanx

Well K...this to me is just a draft...ya feel? just proof it and say it aloud a few more times and i think you will find places where the flo could get better...

but hey maybe im wrong man... i didn't hear you spit it...
"racist/suckthis"? didn't really feel this rhyme...

{Peace}

Yea, i had some trouble on that one, i wasn't even gonna put that line, but when I said it, it sounded aight ta me. yea tho to me its a pretty good draft.

Yo Try evening out your bars so it flows a little smoother, use more mets(comparrisions) and try some multis (ex. i'm driven for spitten by crusifiction) it'll add depth to ya ryme
~1~