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-   -   FREESTYLE (feed back appreicated) (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=83593)

e.coli 10-05-03 02:11 AM

FREESTYLE (feed back appreicated)
 
yo my nigga dont come at me like you hard give yo pussy a shave/
im gonna make like dmx and jet-li and cradle you to your grave/

dont try to hate me nigga haters just get off my dick/
befo i leave you broke and in a splint like a bootleg mike vick/

nigga i know you on my nuts with me you have a fasination/
get on my bad side and ill be standin over you at yo assassination/

tryin to battle me is just stupid simply put its not smart/
ill leave you empty handed like you got caught tryin to steal from k-mart/

like mcdonalds i love to see bitches smile ive been doin this for awhile/
this is my last bar i am done wit my lil freestyle/

please give me some feedback on this. dont sleep

Kwik 10-05-03 02:25 AM

not bad, just seems a little slow. You kind of deliver it the same though. Good ideas though

Speek.E.Z. 10-05-03 02:25 AM

it was alright.. your lines were very simple and you need more word play and try not to end freestyles with this is my last line so im done.. its just a big ass filler.. its alrigght you got some potential just keep on slanging.. but u need to elevate a bit first ..

e.coli 10-05-03 01:42 PM

thanks for the feedback my niggas. holla

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