"Devestation"
 

This is something I wrote the other day...hope you enjoy it..its a little...freaky lol...please give me some feedback...Thankz

Going around dressed in all jet black
Pyschopathic, I'm a straight maniac
Crazy and wild, thats a fact
I only cry, thick tears of black blood
When I get pissed, it makes my veins flood
Cutting enemies throats, them hitting the ground witha thud
Speaking rarely and only when spoken too
People around me run when I say, 'boo'
Tripping over one another, they don't know what to do
Carving X's into my bare, reluctant skin
Knowing death will find me, Not knowing when
when I'm gone, no one will wonder where I have been
All types of strange thoughts run through my head
Some people im glad there alive, others i wish they were dead
Maybe they will die soon, or I could fill them with lead
Fighting has became another occupation
Having alot of trouble with communication
Waiting to tear into a victim, eats me up with anticipation
I am the worst of my creation
I was put here to make Devestation...

iight

wow this was strong! and yeah kinda scary, but it seems like the person in this turns to beating and killing other ppl because they feel lost or left out, and they might not know how to talk to other ppl. thats what i got from it and it was a good message.

it was short and kept to a simple rhyme scheme, but it worked for it, u were able to get across strong emotions and keep it simple it was nice.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

Thanks for the feedback..I usually don't do this sort of ryhme...but I guess it turned out alright lol..Thankz once again

peAce

sticky peice twiztid chick im noticing your work dese days it pretty dope. dis peice was like another side to people/you like a dark side. flow was tite. keep it up
peace ~roX~

Thankz...I tried to make this one where you could put yourself in it or use me/someone else...Thanks for the reply...

peAce

I liked this piece...i was feeling the emoticion in this one as i read through it...it was a good read...it flowed pretty well through out it...your vocab was good..the structure to it was pretty well good, the way you layed it out and everything..overall it was a good piece, keep at it.

Thanks for your feedback...I will be posting more soon...

peAce

yeah thats moe of the twiztid ish, so get out from underneith my bed muthfacko !!!

lmao...I'll shank yo ass...lol...Thanks for replying

peAce

this was pretty tight, it was a little dark and secluded but it had strong emotion, nicley laid out, nice imagery, a bit disturbed but nothin out of tha usual round where i live, keep droppin tha hotness, peace baby girl.~1~

Thanks for the reply on this piece beau...I just thought maybe i should write sumthin to go with my name lol...I know its dark and all but i think its pretty kool....anywho, thankz bunches for your feedback

peAce