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-   -   Complexity (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=83768)

A.T. 10-06-03 01:25 AM

Complexity
 
Aiyo,
All of you laugh at the thought of me being serious
but thats the cause of disasters leavin you delirious,
these bastards collapse at the balls when I'm spittin so furious,
Makin em relapse on their bars cause they're legitamatly rediculous.
Never satisfying the cause of these attidtude faults is the reason of this verse.
I'm like a nasty mother fuckin disease that will disperse,
throughout your family and leave em sleepin in hearsts,
even before death even thinks to step to em first.
I'm on the brink of a break-though to a self expressant society.
No anti-deppresant could suppress this stress thats buildin up inside of me, and until I die,
no person could ever write a rhyme thats as emotional as mine,
inspite of the fact that I despise any cat that battle raps like he's dieting...
So I arrive to the conclusion that death is the only solution,
with the exclusion of a nuclear fusion pursuit of this criminals prosecution,
& the mind frame of this night train that wont stop no matter who the highjackers shootin.

(Hook)
My minds too complex cause I cant even understand it,
these rhymes cant caress what I'm dealt underhanded,
In time this stress will eventually due me in,
lemme out this looney bin so i can do the same stupid shit, all over again....

Domain 9 10-06-03 01:34 AM

Damn kid, that was off the chain. The flow was definately on point and the lyrical content was great. I see you have a hook so I'm guessing/hoping it's not finished. If you need a hook, you need more verses. keep it up

pz

A.T. 10-06-03 01:47 AM

thanx for da feed... it feels good to get props from a mod...
still uppin.
A.T.

Speek.E.Z. 10-06-03 01:53 AM

great shit it had good flow and it was pretty funny.. i liked it.. would of been better if you made it longer
holla back at mine

Life What Is It Made Of

A.T. 10-06-03 01:54 AM

gotcha bro...
A.T.

A.T. 10-06-03 02:18 AM

uppity up up uppin

Passivist 10-06-03 10:25 AM

Damn that shit was nice dawg. Great vocab amazing flow. Looking forward to see more of your stuff.

A.T. 10-06-03 01:00 PM

thanx for da feed dawg... UPPIN

pot1ent 10-06-03 01:14 PM

I should really give you the same length you did to me..But I ain't about that...

Your flow was hyped up alot up there...I felt it was good but wasn't quite perfect...It fell of a bit...Due to not keeping a scheme...I thought your content fell off compared to your hook...If you had made your content of the piece the same as your hook it woulda been really good...It was a good read though

A.T. 10-06-03 01:23 PM

thanx dawg... still uppin

Dirty Sally 10-06-03 02:17 PM

Okay I hope this helps fam :)

I liked the hook it's great. The wordplay is good, clever enough and you displayed extensive vocab. The structure is solid and it has a nice flow to it. The only cons are the lack of metaphors and multies, just improve in that department. All in all it was a good drop. Stay active

One+

murda_mistress 10-06-03 02:21 PM

I loved this piece. That was the shit I have no compliants keep doing what you do son!

A.T. 10-07-03 12:45 AM

lookin good... still uppin for some feed.
A.T.

A.T. 10-07-03 12:18 PM

ok ok,.... dont read my shit, lmao

Da_Renegade 10-07-03 12:41 PM

I liked this man, good flow and a nice drop for real

i liked that anti-suprresant line

1

peep ma open mic "Da Renegade"


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