yo here's another keystyle check it out
 

this is a keystyle so let me know what u think

yo yo

ima a thug and i know that u soft//
i shoot long while u shoot close like miniture golf//
don't play thug i'll send my men 2 get ya//
cause im known 2 have mo soldiers than adolf hitler//
u herbs betta get da picture//
2 me u like a blount and im willin 2 split ya//
everywhere i go niggas on my dick//
and u pussy, so it's jus like watching a flick//
a should've known i was poppin a bitch//
da block love it cause they knew i was stoppin a snitch//
(now dats gangsta)
i spit raw there's no need 2 perpatrate//
shoot at ya feet make u bleed and percalate//(haha)
ima in a zone and i got da greed of ricki lake//
u wont da purple i got da best weed dat's in this state//

fuk it i gotta go 2 class jus a little keystyle so let me know how yall feel about it

yo its ok but there is alot of room for improvement...not really feelin this flow...elevate yo vocab.....yo don't take this personally an start hatin....keep droppin u got potiential....peace..

Yeah..this was ok...everything could be better...try using internals to help support the flow so it flows better...vocab could be up'd like was said before..your structure could be improved a little bit..but it was ok..keep at it..and keep dropping.

and if you could return some feedback..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84048