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-   -   lighten sins (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=84042)

filed 10-07-03 05:02 PM

lighten sins
 
twist it
shape it
make it whatever you want,
take it in
its homeless
cold and shivering
lets relase total sin

slit open
reach in
feel it
take hold
its got power
hold on
for this is your home,

god damnit
stop guessing
quit concealing
let out whats inside,
it eats me
it kills me
cant push it outside,

i can feel it
its coming
slow but for sure,
grip tighter
pull harder
dont lose it
you've caught hold,

its there now
just one layer of skin
help it
deep breath now
your in
watch the blood drip....
....feel your sins lighten....

~Tera~
DONT HATE

HazY.B 10-07-03 05:50 PM

the fa=irst stanza i was like wtf is she on? but then i read its homeless and i was like ut oh
this is gonna be good
filed is gonna drag me in and what did you do ......you did it


god damnit
stop guessing
quit concealing
let out whats inside,
it eats me
it kills me
cant push it outside,

GODDAMMIT this was great i always have had this thing about cussin in poetry and i dont thinkit should be in it unles you can feel teh emotion and the placement is right IT WAS RIGHT here damn that was great

sins lighten
i so wish that was true every time i ttry to repent i end up causing more trouble/sin

i loved this piece from header to footer gurl

filed 10-08-03 04:30 PM

thx i appreciate hearing from you, and giving me a boost.

~Tera~
DONT HATE

Content 10-08-03 07:53 PM

definately a queezy feeling came upon me readin this filed
every time when it was making me sick you last lines from
you stanzas had somewhat made it not seem as bad....
as if your picking your poison and pushing it away at the
last minute..or when you feel you cant take it any more...

im not sure if im on point but I did like reading this here

la paz

filed 10-12-03 10:49 AM

thx for the reply!!

~Tera~
DONT HATE

Smooth JT 10-13-03 09:17 AM

wow. this was different to me. I read and i was like what the hell and read it again and then started understanding more. Great peice hun. Keep it up, peace. spect JT

DthsMissingAngel 10-13-03 09:38 AM

Wow, great piece filed. It pulled me in and got my attention. Keep droppin. Most respect.

filed 10-13-03 05:21 PM

thx all for the replys

it always seems that it takes ppl alittle more effort to understand what im feeling/ saying so thanks for taking the time

~Tera~
DONT HATE


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