check this
 

Yo, i'm droppin bars like a security guard/
so controversial i need a new identity card/
My first raps sucked, but i throw ill words now/
My thougts are so odd you'll raise you're eye brow/
i don't take shit, not even from mods/
i win every battle by all the odds/
i'm just fuckin with you, i like you guys/
i'm so confusin i could cross one's eyes/
i don't know why you try an fuck with me/
you know i'll burn you to the highest degree/
i don't say i'm rich or how many hoes i got/
or my ghetto life and my shootout spot/
i just spit for fun, yea i'd like to get cash/
but you guys are probably just poor white trash!

trying to elevate, feedback plz

ok..this wasnt too bad...metas were alright could use some more...it flowed ok, but try to use some internals to help support the flow...also try some multies...structure was ok could be better..but it was ok...keep elevating...and keep dropping.

and if you could return some feedback..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/sho...&threadid=84048

yeah this wasnt a bad piece. i think you should try an use some better vocab, the words were pretty basic. other than that this was a nice piece nigga

uppin, need feed back y'all

uppin, need some feedback yo

U wantin elevation ,.....drop things that makes sence, ....


i mean droppin bars like security guards?..


Try to up ur vocab , ..and ur concept, ......was played, .....be original...^^or if u not, .....use mad vocab...ur flow was ok , ....but the rest kinda failed but keep em droppin :)

and hit up Gods Journal preciated

OK, Kwik... It was better than your first verse... you learn KWIK... How bout a battle wit Funn 4 fun!!!

I'ma set up the thread... I'll spit first, then you reply.

OK, I posted in the FRONT LINES thread... reply to it... Unlimited bars... freedom of speech... No rules...

The Thread is self-tittled (Funn DementaLL vs. Kwik)

I jus been told I ain't do it right... Ignore that... jus reply.

aiight, watever

flow was ok, vocab needs work, could of used more multies to help the flow, structure was ok...overall it was pretty simple...keep droppin though, you'll get better...