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-   Poetic Scriptures (http://community.rapverse.com/forumdisplay.php?f=9)
-   -   This beast (http://community.rapverse.com/showthread.php?t=84227)

Smooth JT 10-08-03 12:32 PM

This beast
 
Fire coming out of this monster of a beast,

Breathing so hard hearing it from a far,

Roaring so hard with window shattering sound,

It’s alive its really is alive..

After years of prep, molding, and machining,

It is finally able to be seen for the first time,

Finally able to beat fear deep into your heart,

Able to watch your jaw drop at this dream,

Tons of steel and fiber glass molded to perfection,

The heart, soul of this machine chromed out,

Dual Holley four barrel carbs atop the intake manifold,

Performance headers on the outside and the inside……

Performance pistons, crankshaft, lifters and all,

Bolted to be back, 400 turbo tranny clutches and shift kit,

The smooth feeling of the body as you run your hand over,

Leather interior with a red glow from the gauges,

Something like this hasn’t been seen for ages,

Couple more minutes it’ll finally be complete,

Once again ready on the street to compete,

For the title of number one, this time for fun,

I’ll show all of you posers how this stuff is done,

Pop on the seat and slide it into gear,

Another beast out tonight, this one to fear…..

LadyWun 10-08-03 12:50 PM

you didnt really have a good rhyme scheme and i didnt get a
lot of emotion (but then again its a machine without emotion)
all in all it was a strange piece but to each his own... lol
* good point.. the way you spoke you actually made it to known
that you know what you are talking about. Keep Writing.

MoparMaddness 10-08-03 04:07 PM

Now that is what im talking about JT. That is the kind of shit you dont see in RB. One poem about the hopes and dreams of a small racing team out to show all you fucking import sporting posers what real american muscle is made of. For this you get my respect and you will always have it. F4L

MM

HazY.B 10-08-03 05:37 PM

honestly im still stuck on your christmas tree peice lol
icant help it

this peice reminded me of your avatar
cold
machine like
and quite frankly ugly ( not your peice lol the vibe)

Once again ready on the street to compete,
^
this in particular reminded me of the x mas tree
its as if you are always writing about being on teh edge and the adrenaline that follows wit it

nice jt

hazy

Smooth JT 10-08-03 05:42 PM

Hazy you are on the right track and guess what you are right. Drive on the Edge 4 Love. It's sweet racing around and being free for the hour or 2 i'm out. thanks for your reply. Anyone else wanna up this for me?? peace

Provoked Images 10-08-03 09:49 PM

ok, first off, don't start a poem witout a rhyme scheme then put a rhyme scheme in tha end, doesn't work well that way, as a poem, tha only feelin i got was a sort of, "i've created a machine, i'm gonna beat everyone, nobody can stop me, cause i got tha best car out there", which is like a self-glorification poem, and i'm personnally not a fan of those types, also, i was not noticin any feelins comin out of this poem, it was basic to an extreme, no similes/metaphors/deep and inner thoughts to tha topic, but rather this is how it is, simple and plain, and, once again, not a fan of this type of poetry, jus keep droppin though, mayb u'll finally drop one i actually like...

MoparMaddness 10-08-03 11:11 PM

Angellical, dont criticize someone for what they like. This forum is not made for someone to write things that you like 24/7. Let ones feelings go and if you like it thats a bonus. So let it be and dont hate on ones writings.

MM

Provoked Images 10-09-03 11:00 AM

i didn't hate on him u frickin newb, don't give me tha rules of a site u just started on, i said i didn't like tha subject material but at tha same i was also criticizing his poem as just that, a poem...

evilbombsquad 10-10-03 07:21 PM

blah

Smooth JT 10-11-03 12:07 AM

^if you ain't got shit to say don't say it at all. Just cuz when you get a vehical ur gonna get ur ass ripped to shreads cuz u don't know how to tell when a simple thing has taken a shit or is about to. Ur a funny funny person.

Da NFamous 10-11-03 12:11 AM

Ehh your all newb's why the fuck are u bitchin about him bein a noob AngelR if u joined in fuckin Aug 03? thats 2 months ago fucker, and bombsquad is the ill freeposter, suck on that, no mods around here pay attention, they just wave around their dicks amazed that they have mod sized balls, 1luv.

DthsMissingAngel 10-11-03 01:07 AM

Sweet writing JT. That is the kind of stuff to write about. See I'm like you and I LOVE cars and racing. Its a rush that could never be amounted to. Even though I'm a newb, I think its a great post.


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